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Positive Outlook

2012-01-17T06:18:00.001-06:00

It's January 17 - holla! Here inside this "tempest in a tea kettle" I call my life, things have been on warp speed for the past few months. I can't say it's been healthy, because lately I find myself quite discontent. I think I have a fairly realistic outlook on life. I'd even go so far as to say I fall within the realistic-to-optimistic space on this imaginary chart. But this seasonal funk has been getting the better of me and I'm unhappy with it. And when I get unhappy I ask questions. I assess. I put my life under a microscope and I look for root causes. That ~~sometimes~~ often requires Googling.

I found this article from Mayo Clinic quite helpful and inspirational, even though it's simple and perhaps even a reiteration of things I've encountered over 40 years of life. When my internal processor reaches capacity, I have to purge what's in the cache and expand the chips and boards. I am working this week to let go (or make peace) with the fact that I can't control the decisions people make - even when my crystal ball reveals an uncannily clear and accurate picture. What I can do is say "no" to participating in the process. I can engage in things that make me happy, and I can continue mastering my craft, developing emerging skills, and expanding my knowledge base in areas where I have curiosity.

2012 Election: The Candidate Match Game - USATODAY.com

2012-01-16T10:57:00.001-06:00

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/candidate-match-game?loc=interstitialskip

It's been a minute, but Daddy has lots to talk about. I'm not "just about" home ownership and fabric samples! Stay tuned but, for now, take this quiz. I was surprised, actually, with the results.

I Heart December

2011-12-05T05:25:00.001-06:00

I love December and I'm pretty sure it's because it includes a few of my favorite things. (Is it just me or does that seem familiar?)

1.) Shopping. I don't need to say anything more but I will. Why? Because I get to shop for people I love, including myself. I love him so much.
2.) Sugar. I heart me some seasonally packaged chocolate + home-baked confections. And I eat them freely during December.
3.) Schedule. December is a challenge and you have to own it like it's your bitch or else it will walk all over you. But I love being able to plan the holiday season, especially when I figure out how to spend MORE (not less) time with my family in Mobile. 10 days this year? Oh yeah babe.

I am also spending December reviewing my entire STOTT PILATES instructor repertoire. There are over 500 exercises (including modifications) across the entire range and it's impossible to recall it all by rote memorization. I like to break it down by apparatus, then compose a cross-platform workout, which I spend 30 minutes reviewing each day. I do sound cray-cray when I teach myself aloud but it's helpful nonetheless.

Mr. Miagi

2011-11-11T05:49:00.001-06:00

A few months back I posted about obtaining black bamboo. It lives in the yellow-ish resin planter at left. I also dug up a few bamboo plants from my parents' house in Mobile, because as I often say, "If a little is good, then a lot is better." I opted to get them started in my tomato buckets, which I spray painted crimson in honor of football season. The great news is that each of these plants is thriving - but the larger on the right (near Maddie, who is getting her sunbath on) is coming up gangbusters.

This is making up for the puny clumping variety that continues to wane in the front bed (so disappointing) but I have decided if it doesn't rebound in the spring, I'll repot and move one of the thrivers to that position.

I have also decided to obtain a Japanese maple tree - "Osakazuki" variety to be exact - which I'm going to add to a bench planter on my patio. If you see me outside practicing my crane move, you'll know I've gone full-on Karate Kid.

Be warned.

Self Assessment(s)

2011-11-07T06:55:00.003-06:00

As the Emperor, I speak for everyone here at the Empire in saying "we've been getting a lot of shit done." Well, mostly done. Our culture is one that promotes the 90% complete project, and we are working to improve the practices of the subjects so as to hit that desirable 100% mark.

Such is the kitchen.

We've spent a few nights and weekends adding a glass tile backsplash with intermittent mirrors. We're all about bouncing the light and, as this image indicates, eating a little healthier to keep the creative fire fueled. I need to seal grout and finish/refloat a few lines, but changing the cabinet hardware and installing a new fascia board above the sink has helped us feel a wee bit more current.

At some point I'm going to add a smaller, really Euro refrigerator and develop additional storage in the space that action will free up - and I'm leaning toward real wood countertops - but for now I'm fairly content.

It's so perplexing to me - as the kitchen was completely serviceable I'd not ranked it high on the priority list for attention but once it said "Please look at me," I couldn't ignore its patrician request.

I have a ton more to post and will work to do that this week. It's been a maelstrom but quite rewarding, of course.

As I closed on my house on April 29, I will always be able to measure my progress based on the devastating tornadoes we endured here in Alabama on April 27. At the six-month mark a few weeks ago I took a bit of time to go on a photo tour of the Empire. The results were pleasing. There is still so much I want and need to do, but if anything I realize I've not just been sitting around watching Jersey Shore and eating Bon-Bons. (The fact is, I eat a lot of almonds and DVR the Rachel Zoe Project.)

Don't Change

2011-09-22T06:10:00.003-05:00

I have some of the coolest cousins in the world, and for that I am grateful. Probably because I hail from large broods (both of my parents were 1 of 7 children in their respective families) and, who are we kidding, being Southern, I spent a lot of time with my family growing up (and spend as much time as I can with them now ... they're "my people."). I grew up in my mother's hometown in Alabama, so many of my cousins in Mobile are more like brothers/sisters, but I loved our trips to Virginia to see my dad's people and share a special bond with them as well.

My cousin Lori is probably six or seven years older than me but I LIVED for her apex-level awesomeness. She taught me how to smoke correctly (thanks for those 16 years of addiction, by the way!), how to dance like a rockstar (she was much better at it than me), and every moment I have spent with her has been nothing short of complete and utter contentment.

I got a text from her yesterday morning which said, "Heard 'Don't Change' on radio this morning, always think of you when I do, I love you." It made my Wednesday spectacular. Thanks Lori, I hadn't heard or thought of that song in a few years, but have to share as it remains one of my all time favs!

Make It A Point

2011-09-20T06:16:00.000-05:00

Every day we have choices to make. The summation of these choices represent and embody our standards and expectations. When we recognize the choices we need to make, but struggle to succeed in executing them, we set ourselves up for disappointment and reduced feelings of fulfillment. The range here is vast, of course. Maybe the world won't end because you didn't fold the laundry the minute the dryer stopped running, but dismissing seemingly innocuous things has a cumulative effect and add to larger scale disappointments.

Life is short, isn't it? Do the things that ideally you think should be done, even if it means you take 5 extra minutes. Sweat the small stuff. It can mean the difference between feeling blase about your life or truly self-assured and fulfilled. And if you don't sweat it, no one else will either.

This means, ultimately, your dryer could always have a load of laundry in it. And nothing illicits a wince and "aww Hell naw" like jack-in-the-box white clothes in the dryer. I'm just sayin'.

Baby's Black Bamboo

2011-09-16T06:44:00.002-05:00

My friend Brian gasped, "Tom Ford!"

It's been a fairly busy past few weeks and it appears that will be the forecast for the foreseeable future. I'm trying to figure out a way to spin this positively and, yeah, not happening, but at least my hot tub is now up and running and I can soak away the stress and aches at the end of the day. That's positive, right?

Another thing I find incredibly effective at encouraging deeper breathing is bamboo. I know that sounds odd, and I've probably talked about my love for this prolific cane in blogs past, but I find it elegant and graceful and for some reason this seems to settle me.

Earlier this summer I acquired a small "clumping bamboo" plant. Don't get excited, this picture is NOT it. Right now it's clinging to life in a new large pot, on a pedestal even, in my front flower bed. As it turns out, and contrary to popular belief, bamboo doesn't just live in anything. It actually has a preference for well-prepared soil and nutrients (who knew?). Some research performed in attempting to save the life of my current bamboo lead me to Beautiful Bamboo. And that lead me to black bamboo.

Amazing, isn't it?

The Empire's newest acquisition.

This variety is a timber/clumping variety that apparently has no use for any type of cold weather, so it seems I'll only be able to admire it from afar. In its place, however, I acquired a running black bamboo which is touted as "very hardy." On a recent design blog I saw bamboo installations on a really high-end deck, intended to function as privacy screens. They had been planted in galvanized steel livestock watering troughs.

I didn't know what to expect when live plants are FedEx'ed, but I was pretty impressed that it arrived in a box, with the canes somewhat twisted backward, packed very tight with wadded newspaper. As instructed, I unpacked, stood upright, and watered well. When I repotted it into a larger container last night (you didn't think I'd plant it in the ground, did you?), I was amazed at how profuse the root bed "nexus" appeared. There's this huge underground "cane dragon" that's wrapped the entire 1-gallon container and, I swear, it screamed "FEED ME" when I exposed it. I predict success with this variety.

I will spend the winter determining exactly where I want to permanently place it. I'm thinking of a raised concrete channel bed directly behind the hot tub patio to serve as a courtyard divider/privacy screen/swanky backdrop.

And finally, a post to the video of the song that inspired this post's title. I loved Goo Goo Dolls back in the day, and this was my favorite from them.

Go Fish

2011-08-31T06:09:00.001-05:00

I have been anti-cord since I can remember. And I'm not sorry about it either. I don't go running around with my business hanging out for the world to see (usually), and I have the same expectation of modesty from my major appliances. It really IS that simple.

I am also a big fan of having an electrical outlet where you need it, and not letting it dictate how you decorate. I think modern homebuilders are a more keen on this, but I also think it's unfair to expect someone at a generic level to really "know your life." That leaves us with a need to conceal wires and, in doing so, we'll probably have to add outlets and/or fish wire through a wall.

[Note: I have never actually done this wall fishing but I'm comfortable with walls, and have been fishing many times, how hard can it be right? I mean, if stoners with ear gauges are how-to'ing you on YouTube anyone can do it, right? Right?]

It's recently come to my attention that I enjoy having my flat panel television downstairs. Since I rarely watch it, yet pay lotsa coin for my HD DirecTV, I feel like an hour of HGTV and/or local news each day is a good way to maximize value. And because I watch it so infrequently, it only makes sense that I want a larger panel upstairs in the loft. Don't question this thinking. Just endorse it.

But with this wall o'tellie comes a perplexing dilemma with wire and if you think I'll have it exposed, think again. I won't have it. I will go fish.

iBook

2011-08-17T06:23:00.000-05:00

A few years back, when the Kindle became all the rage, I did what I normally do when things become all the rage. I judged. Why? I'm not sure, but it was a harsh enough reaction (not quite at the caustic level I reach when I hear "granite countertops and stainless steel appliances" but pretty close) that I had to stop and consider what was it about the electronic format that made me cringe. I think my initial reaction was based on two things: the profile of the early adopters and inefficiency of the medium itself.

EARLY ADOPTERS

If I saw one early twenty something girl in an airport with a Chihuahua in a small mesh crate, oversized Dior sunglasses, a bottle of water and an Rx of Prozac with a Kindle I saw 30. And each time I wanted to figure out a way to either shorts them in public, or spill their water on their electronic device, rendering it useless.

And please don't even get me started on the hipster boys wearing their girlfriend's jeans. Are you kidding me? I'm bloody gay and nothing has ever made me want to say "Man up!" more than this unfortunate, dreadful occurrence.

THE MEDIUM

Sometimes you just don't need to eff with something that works. Books are practical. They're easily accessible. To read a book you do one thing. Pick it up, open it, read. You can also do nifty things like obtain a public library card, which allows you access to an amazing world of literature and guess what ... it's free. And it also is fun because you're bound by time, and this encourages you to read more. I think that's a pretty swell thing.

With the electronic rendition you have a few significant barriers to entry. There's cost, and there's technology. You pay for every book you download (usually), and you have to ensure your device is sync'ed and, more important, charged. What could suck more than wanting to read and having it say "Oh girl not now, I'm too drained."

THE CONCLUSION

Not gonna lie, when I got my iPad2 earlier this year, I decided I would at least give myself an objective opportunity to validate my judgment. I actually bought a book and have been reading it since. That's what, 4 months? 5 months? I'm nearly finished, and the book is quite good. It's "The Paris Wife," by Paula McLain, by the by, but I do think I'd have finished it much sooner had I begun it in traditional printed format. I probably consumed the lion's share on a recent flight to and from Los Angeles. I do love the little bookmark feature, and swiping to turn pages does feel a bit like reading. And because I have my iPad with me at almost all times, it's usually pretty easy to access.

I have some other books I want to read, and think I'll revert to my traditional, "old school" library card option. I like the library. It's a relaxing place with an amazing purpose.

INCOMING!

2011-08-01T06:52:00.000-05:00

A few weeks back I was on a trip to Wallace (code for WalMart and please don't judge me) - I think I went specifically for one item and of course spent $100 in the gardening section. I considered this a success because I actually did acquire the item I sought. Normally when I am barraged by my ADD I get home and think, "Shit, I forgot the [designated item]!" One of my "finds" that day was a really lovely potted hibiscus and it was on clearance for $7.50. I put it in a large container on my patio, mostly so it would provide some sort of color/natural interest when I looked out my french doors. Nothing says "Me so sad" like looking directly into your neighbor's vinyl wall, but such is life when your Empire is a garden home.

The plant has thanked me for saving it from an unknown fate by prospering, and its flowers are exquisite - especially on a sunny day. Concurrent to my recent house move and all of the recalibrating that has entailed, I've also moved my office within my company's headquarters building and that has been a mammoth task as well. (I'm pretty sure in a former life I was a pack mule. "See if he can take just one more sack of flour before he breaks," I often hear in my head.) For the past 3 years I've hung hummingbirds feeders outside the picture windows of our ground level office suite but now that I am upstairs, this isn't possible. I was sad too because I'd established quite the colony of hummers who relied on Robby's Sugar Crack, so on Saturday I hung them in the corner of my yard, beneath the mutant Bradford Pear, hoping they might be used by some other wayward birds who'd stumbled into suburbia.

Before I could begin my obsessive-compulsive stare-down at the feeders, I was rewarded unexpectedly as I was at the kitchen sink. I glanced outside at the exact moment a hummingbird was hovering over one of the large hibiscus blooms. Sappy as this sounds, it was heart-lifting. I thought, "If they're in the hood, they'll find the feeders." I wasn't wrong. After a rather intense thunderstorm Sunday afternoon I had taken the dogs out for a piddle and discovered two arguing over who could use which feeder. They're pissy little things like that, but that's OK.

I had decided to seek a specific perennial plant (crocosima, it's called) after seeing it in a design blog. The added benefit is that hummingbirds LOVE it, so this has set a new tone to my burgeoning gardening efforts. I'm not at the point of wearing Hawaiian print shirts and drinking mai tais on the lanai, but I could see some sort of hummingbird tattoo in my future.

Mission Viejo

2011-07-13T06:37:00.000-05:00

Funny little sign my co-workers constructed on my birthday.

At some point since my last post I turned 40. Yes go ahead, hit me with the whole "I'm so sorry," like one of my fav pilates clients did earlier this week. She was serious. That made it even better, but only because she's probably 20 years older than me and of course, I identified. But it is what it is, right? And you know what, it's pretty effing awesome.

Why? The list is very long but I'm happy to try: I have amazing friends both near and far who make my life richer each day; I have a spectacular family who not only supports me in my craziness but totally enables and encourages it; I have a new home that I am having a great time adapting to suit my tastes and the needs of my incredible dogs; and I have a really challenging yet very rewarding career with co-workers, peers and colleagues who help me grow and evolve each day. So when I say it that way I'm like, "Hell yes I'm 40 bitch, and I own it!"

I have lived just long enough to recognize patterns, and to grow intolerant of repeating the ones I find unhealthy. It is a struggle to correct some of them, but the blessing and grace is the recognition, and the mounting sense of urgency to make changes for a sustainable future. Sure I am flexible (always have been and, of course, I am a pilates junkie) which means I can still drop it down low and sweep the floor with it, but now I think more about my life as an "aging gay" and if I happen to live a long time, I don't want to be a burden to those who will assume responsibility for my care. I can see it now, "Watch out orderly, he might be 75 and delusional with a frightening face full of plastic surgery, but he has wicked lateral hip rotation and has been practicing 'Kill Bill' moves for a really long time."

So what do I want to accomplish in my 40th year? Since I've now failed at getting on a 40 Under 40 list, I think I'll just focus on finishing some commitments through 2011, working on my house, and taking some time to breathe, enjoy my life, and read some more books. I'm putting it in neutral and observing ... at least until my next big motivation.

Coral Snake

2011-07-06T06:33:00.000-05:00

When I returned from a recent trip to the beach, I noticed the dogs were hyper-intent (and with one Jack Russell and one Australian Shepherd trust, this is saying alot) on something that was below the hot tub. The last time I had been around hunting so keen was years ago at the house in Little Rock, when Gizmo (another JRT) was yipping from his crate when I got home at lunch. I thought perhaps he was really needing to go but when I opened the door he leapt down 8 stairs, jumped on the patio door and, as soon as I opened it, pounced onto a tarp-covered pile of pea gravel beside the deck to flush out a huge king snake. It was at this moment I became a believer in the power of the canine snout. It is also a permanent reminder to look for the unexpected when your dogs be ackin' a fool, so I got a stick, just to be safe.

The dogs, of course, relented as soon as they saw the stick because they'd much rather let Daddy handle perplexing dilemmas. I suspected one of their bouncy balls was beneath the hot tub, so as soon as it became apparent there wasn't a varmint I needed to deal with, I stooped down for further inspection. Immediately I recoiled when I saw what appeared to be a coral snake. And by appeared I mean it was a remnant. A remnant right in front of the bouncy blue ball. I have never encountered a coral snake but, growing up in the country and being a full-on yard rat, I was always warned to keep my good eye out for the "red meets yellow bad for fellow" elapid. (Never mind the water moccasins, rattlesnakes, or copperheads ... just watch out for the coral snake.) I knew the snakes prefer underground/undercover locations, are fairly elusive, and aren't prone to strike since they're not a traditional viper and must stay attached to the prey in order for the venom to inject.

Still, I was a bit ooged out because, let's face it, my environment is ideal for a coral snake (obvz), and all I could think was "Did my dogs shred a coral snake and live to tell the story?" Apparently that's the case. I did make the mistake of telling my mother this story over the weekend and of course, this has moved all the way up to her #1 Worry List Item. In fact, it did inspire me to do a bit more research and while I certainly don't want to be flippant, I do think I'm probably OK. I have been doing a bit of gardening so am just remaining more aware and taking precautions like ~~wearing appropriate clothing~~ (OK, that's a lie, it's too hot) using my trusty stick (aka "hoe handle") to poke around before I get busy cultivating.

Here's the Wikipedia entry on coral snakes. I found it interesting, and always enjoy learning something new and confirming facts along the way. In fact, I think that's what should be the epitaph on my grave, "He was all about confirming facts."

Snap Crackle Crunch

2011-06-29T06:19:00.000-05:00

Even when my neighbors got new ceilings in the 1970's - new ceilings with GLITTER - I was never a fan of the blown-in popcorn ceiling. Solid glitter ceiling? Love. Plain popcorn? Hate.

And so it came to be that I purchased a home with popcorn ceilings and I knew they would be one of the first things I said buy-bye to. Unfortunately this process is sucktastic and no amount of precaution will prevent you from making your home a powdered doughnut. I opted to tackle the master bedroom first, since it is vacant as I await a new bed and prepare to refinish a dresser.

Armed with contractor paper (rolled on the floor) and my new garden sprayer, I got busy on Saturday morning just as the 1000 helpful YouTube videos and websites advised. I even wore my invisible man breathing mask and, just because they were available, my children's size infrared ski goggles. I felt that was appropriate since of course I was also blaring Nicki Minaj on the iPod.

[I keep trying to add more pictures and of course my HD camera settings are high so the interwebz is saying "too much! too much!" I will keep trying.]

The removal of the popcorn is tres' easy. You just pretty much spray and scrape. A note on the spraying - if you're turned off by dirt, like I am, you will get rid of your popcorn ceilings immediately. One spray and everything turns dirt brown, even though your ceiling looks white. Eww.

As I was scraping I was pretty conscientious of not damaging the underlying drywall (when I wasn't practicing Super Bass choreography) but inevitably there are areas of imperfection: this is why they spray ceilings to begin with. It's a great camouflage. Thankfully though most of my ceiling appears to have been floated with mud prior to spraying so I'm thinking, "Home free, bitches!" But I was wrong. I was so wrong.

Why? My water bath had also loosened the drywall tape at the wall-to-ceiling joint. This meant I had to remud/retape the entire room. I also have gone back and patched areas of concern and, last night, I went a little crazy with my new pole sander. As most know, despite the fact that I'm days away from turning 40, I love anything that sounds somewhat close to "pole dancer," so instead of dwelling on the discomfort in my upper traps, I just listened to some more Nicki Minaj. Do we see a pattern developing here?

What remains is a bit of a concern. What if I've not smoothed the ceilings well enough? What if my primer/paint job looks like shudoobie? My tight timeline will be thwarted, my furniture will remain in storage, and I'll have to reach out for professional assistance. If, however, this is successful, I will motor on with the rest of my 8' ceiling areas. Keep your fingers crossed.

Warding Off The Funk

2011-06-23T06:50:00.000-05:00

If you live with an Australian Shepherd, you live with fur. Lots and lots of shedding fur. Fur that tends to find its way to the hood vent of your stove, despite the fact that you clean daily and the vent is 6' taller than said canine.

This is acceptable, of course, because if you live with an Australian Shepherd you live with a dog that makes you smile for no other reason than just being himself. When I look down and see Geege Weave, I just think "Oh he's just being Miley," and either reach for the broom or the Swiffer. [Note: I don't reference Maddie because she is a Jack Russell which means she's really a person and as such is excused from accountability.]

And now I have a new weapon in my one man war against Dog Dirt: The Shark Steam Mop. In one of my Saturday ADD haze-induced shopping excursions to a local big box home improvement store, I happened to spot this item on the shelf at a reduced cost. I thought, "Wood laminate floors in heavy dog traffic areas + the added awesomeness of steam? Done and done!" I was even more excited when I thought, driving home, I'd add tea tree oil - maybe even Aveda Energizing Composition - to my steam for a full-on cleanliness overload but, alas, the instructions (yes, I read them) say emphatically DO NOT ADD SCENTED OIL OR ANYTHING TO THE CHAMBER. I am a rule follower, by nature, so I have avoided this temptation but I will say the overall result of the product is impressive.

I have used it twice, and though of course it initially sent both dogs running to the bedroom with its hissing and steaming, their natural curiosity is getting the better of them and now they like to watch from the corner. I give it a big thumbs up!

From a lecture perspective I'd also like to point out that people DO notice when your house is dirty, even though they say they don't. Are you listening college boys? It is never ok to have a grimy, grocery-store-feet bathtub or mold growing in your sink or toilet. Buy some Comet and a sponge. Use them. Weekly. OK, lecture over.

Pillow Talk

2011-06-20T06:24:00.000-05:00

Joseph Pilates was all about the way we sleep. In typical JP fashion, he was a bit extreme in his beliefs and of course had designed prototypes for beds that were a bit like hospital beds (or so I'm told), but one thing I know in 2011 is that mattresses will tell you when "it's time," but pillows are the windows to the soul. Work with me here. And before you go blaming your mattress for all that is wrong in the world, consider your pillow.

I have been sleeping with a memory foam pillow for several years. I am a back sleeper, for the most part (MSJ used to say I looked like Dracula when I was asleep), but not surprisingly I'm also a Princess With A Pea and if things aren't 100% right, I will turn into a rotisserie chicken and occasionally will throw a cow-kick here and there.

Lately my memory foam pillow has been slow on the uptake, so yesterday I bought a new fancy pillow and last night I slept like a baby. A baby Dracula!

Horsetail

2011-06-15T06:23:00.001-05:00

When I talk about having lived in Arkansas many people raise their eyebrows and act as if my life was akin to the movie "Winter's Bone." I always laugh quietly because most of these people are in Alabama but the simple fact is that life in Little Rock was really very good and I have fantastic memories of my friends there.

Probably one of my favorite times in Little Rock was living in Pinnacle Valley and taking our horses down to Two Rivers Park to hack the trails there. It was one of the few places where the footing wasn't full of stones! One of the plants that grew in abundance in this low-lying area (at the convergence of two rivers, but I bet you have already figured this out, right?) was horsetail. It was everywhere and I always thought it was so interesting and beautiful in its vertical "I'm not bamboo but you think I am" way.

In subsequent travels I've seen it used in really impressive ways, so I was rather gobsmacked when The Time Child brought me a handful last week. "I saw this when I was in LA and thought it was fabulous, then I got home and there was some in my Nanny's yard." I have done some initial research because of course it's looking a little ill, but my initial instincts to put it in a non-draining pot and keeping the soil really wet were correct. Hopefully it will take root and recover.

If anyone has tips, I'd appreciate hearing them!

This Is The Re-Launch

2011-06-14T06:51:00.000-05:00

Day One. And so it begins. I have lamented for quite some time about the staleness of my writing and my lack of inspiration and motivation. I felt like I'd run out of things to say but what I've come to realize is that I feel like I've run out of NEW things to say. And how ridiculous is that? I ask myself. New things happen every day.

Clouds fall out of the sky and wipe away the landscape, changing lives forever. The daily grind gets re-routed slightly when we move half a mile away, and suddenly places and establishments we've never discovered become regular fixtures. The inevitably temporary family you've built over the course of a year disbands, but instead of feeling melancholy you're gratified because you've lived just long enough to know that the way it would end was clear before it began: and you accepted this fate with grace and you lived.

It is selfish not to share a thought, but there are some that are best kept incubating before they're debuted. It's like starting seeds, then hardening them off a month or so later, and sharing the ready-to-thrive seedlings with people you know and love. A reversion to journaling has helped me in this discovery, and I am using Day One on both my iMac and my iPad to grow in this dimension of thought gathering and processing.

Yes, I'm still ridiculously engaged in whipping my new house into shape. Yes, I would still love to look like Brad Pitt in "Troy." Yes, I could still sit and watch people for hours. So the truth is, I am inspired. And I am writing. And I am thankful to have endured this bump in the road but blessed at the same time to have made the discovery.

Murphy's Law

2011-04-21T06:28:00.000-05:00

When my friend Emanuel, who works with me, sends me "cool stuff" I always click-through. Why? Because he always sends cool stuff. Resource Furniture is no exception.

I love the creativity and, even more so the successful execution of it, that goes into living in a small space. I have always thought Murphy beds were a smart solution and once I began reviewing this site I thought, "A sofa that converts into a bed would be extremely polite in the guest bedroom." I kept reading about the "fine Italian craftsmanship," and as someone who has a.) been to Italy and b.) done a little retail damage at Prada, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana and Armani I began to suspect a serious commitment to lira would be on the other side of my quote request.

The good news is I wasn't surprised when the super friendly, very efficient quote was returned a few hours later. Can I afford it? No. I'm pretty sure this set-up costs more than my college education, but I really do love the idea of it and am using it as inspiration. Check out the site: it's very well done and I love how cleverly the space saver section addresses storage and aesthetics.

In the meantime, I'll be over at IKEA, trying to "make it work!"

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Pop The Cork

2011-04-19T06:31:00.000-05:00

I bet you didn't guess this was going to be another blog about what? home decorating, did you?! Well it is, and I'm OK with that, because my life is going to be consumed with ever-so-fey decisions like lighting, flooring, fabric and color over the next few months. I have relented and accepted this stimulating fact. It's like the planets have aligned to reveal, in the year I turn 40 (which I'm not - yet - trust ... you'll know when I am), some sort of HGTV/DIY zenith, beneath which I am rendered powerless and subservient to design elements which must be realized.

I have compiled a "Me And My Move" list and calendar (not gonna lie, it's a full-on work plan with milestones and everything) and while I can certainly move into my new house as-is, the few changes I want to make will be best accomplished when there is nothing inside. These changes include: goodbye popcorn ceiling, hello fresh coat of paint, and possibly sayonara brand-new loft carpet; bienvenidos cork floor!

Because I have dogs, and because I intend to use the loft space as a small pilates studio + home office + operation Just Dance 2 headquarters + sleeping space for my nieces and nephew, I'd really like to eliminate the funk-harboring carpet. Let's face it, Maddie will immediately scamper up the spiral stairs and mark her territory, so why not have her do it on a naturally antiseptic, sealed and protected floor instead of an absorbent textile? And let's not forget I do my best Ke$ha "Tik Tok" when I've had a glass or 2 of red wine.

My biggest question, and one in which I hope any reader can offer some feedback, is this - should I do the floating floor lock-in-place engineered cork boards, or the glue-down 12" square tiles? I am inclined to go with the latter, even though everyone says the former is the bees knees. I just can't fathom the concept of a "floating floor." I am a control freak. I need to know it's glued down and nothing will move.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Mutant Ninja Turtle Vest

2011-04-14T06:37:00.000-05:00

Today Google isn't allowing me to edit my "horsey little things page" in the Fisher Price My First Web Page preview version and listen, it's too early to attempt HTML. And so I am adding a few "fs" (that means "for sale") items to this post. Please let me know via email (rbjohnsonii@gmail.com) if you're interested in any of this lot.

1. Charles Owen safety vest. Black, size Medium. EXCELLENT condition, lightly used, and thankfully never crashed! $100.

2. European 50 (US 42) midnight blue/red-lined 4-button riding jacket from Horka (Holland). I bought this jacket from a tack shop in England and have competed in it 3 times. $150.

3. Size 9.5 dress boots. I am pretty sure I wore these just long enough to get the ankles to break, which they did very easily. Very comfortable and in excellent condition. $100.

4. Size 36L Tailored Sportsmen breeches. Brand new, never worn, tags still on. $100.

5. Size 34R Tailored Sportsmen breeches. Lightly used, great shape. $85.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

HOUZZ

2011-04-08T07:01:00.001-05:00

I am working to adapt the way I seek and compile - synthesize, if you will - information. This obviously has been facilitated greatly by my dive into the world of IOS but, by default, I still don't think "I wonder if there's an app for that?" as a first line response. I'm getting there, however, and my iPad2 is making it much easier.

If you follow me on Facebook you might know that I am in the process of purchasing a home and am scheduled to close on April 29. It's a cute little garden home - 2 bedroom 2 bath with a 300 sq. ft. loft and (dramatic introduction) a spiral staircase! My friends who knew me when I lived at Pinnacle Valley Farm in Little Rock might get a sense of deja vu when they see it, and I honestly am sure I loved it because it invoked that same sense of such an amazing year in me as well. But I'm not going to lie, the one time in my life I had food poisoning happened when I lived in the barn and slithering down spiral stairs at 2 a.m. in search of water is most def a lowpoint for me so I'm thrilled that my new home won't require sleeping upstairs!

There's a lot "right" about the place, but obviously things I want to change pretty quickly and I'm super excited about it. It's really the project/purpose I've been missing in my life for awhile now and, God knows, for a Cancer - a middle child Cancer, even - I need me my nesting space!

I wanted to get all fancy and do a design board, and still may, but in random shopping last night stumbled upon an iPad app for Houzz. It's really cool and you can do all sorts of inspiration/ideabook stuff with it (check out the gadget and ideabook I added to the right side of this blog post), and that's the stage where I am right now. It's interesting, too, that sometimes as a creative sort it only takes a slight shot to reprime the well. I've gotten a bit flat over the past few years and I'm really grateful to be reinspired.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Something Old Something New

2011-04-01T08:41:00.001-05:00

On today's episode of Me and My New iMac, I'm going to learn how to actually place a photograph in my blog. In the past 24 hours I've learned to remove the flash memory card from my digital camera, place it into a little secret Bat-slot that I had no idea existed, then upload photographs. It was, in fact, another process that required supervision from the Time Child but in my defense, you don't get an iManual with iProducts and so I feel no shame in saying iDontKnow.

Update: it's 30 minutes later and while I've not learned how to find the images to simply place into the Blogger Uploader I have bumped-it-up-a-notch by discovering Slideshow, making a movie, and placing it on YouTube. "Why was this so important?" I hear you ask. Hopefully after viewing it will make more sense but, in summation, I think I've finally found "the look" I want for a 1960's little coffee table my grandmother gave me nearly 20 years ago, a few years before she passed away. I've attempted to give it a few facelifts over the years - fake stone paint (fail!) and upholstery (great fabric, not totally in love with it but was able to live with it for nearly 15 years) - but when it occurred to me last week that it was the perfect base for a little test-go with glass tile I nearly clamored over myself to get to the home improvement store.

It has been fun sharing this project with Heath, who has a great eye for detail and appreciates the sentimental value of heirlooms and family. He's also been really good at helping me stay on a budget. I think I spent around $60 once it all shaked out, but from my perspective it's a small price to pay. I left a few imperfections because they remind me that nothing is perfect, but everything is beautiful. We just have to clean our lenses occasionally.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Anatomy of Movement

2011-03-22T06:38:00.000-05:00

I have come to accept I will probably never be as brilliant (or exciting) as Lisbeth Salander, the main character in Stieg Larsson's "Millenium" trilogy that begins with the book "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo." She's an apex-level badass who reads scholarly publications on quantum physics for pleasure. Me? I can't even begin to compare but I HAVE recently begun reading "Anatomy of Movement," a reference guide used in many physical movement training modules, which is a bit different than the typical morose novel fodder than occupies my nightstand.

I have also done this with the "Trail Guide To The Anatomy," and, now that I think about it, I also love to read maps. I can read a spiral bound atlas for hours and memorize key landmarks and alternate routes. I suppose our bodies are the metaphorical land masses, the lines of movement are the available routes, and the anatomy is the vehicle we use to arrive at the destination.

Is it completely self-involved or just human nature to actively pursue content that intrigues us? I love to read and learn, but I require a compelling reason to tackle subject matter that isn't necessarily inherent to my overall composition. The older I get the hungrier I've gotten where functionality - why things work the way they do - is concerned. I am not motivated by revolutionizing existing accepted standards, but I do think having a comprehensive frame of reference builds credibility in areas where one professes to possess expertise.

Now, big words and constructs aside ... let's move (with Neneh Cherry)!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Glass Houses

2011-03-21T06:14:00.000-05:00

My love for glass tile has reached a feverish pitch. It is only made greater by my extreme fondness for a recessed shelf. While I probably would not want this exact prototype for my own bathroom, I do love the light-capturing windows (what do you call these sorts of windows - that are set high on the wall to retain privacy?) and I am actually a fan of the green. I know in staged "showroom" shots like this the "more is more" mentality prevails, but in an end-user scenario an edit would likely be a good idea. The small scale of the 1" tile is just right, but it loses some of its magic when asked to compete alongside the 3" square.

Why do I care, I hear you ask? Well, a bathroom remodel just well may be within my immediate future - or at least by the end of 2011. Time will tell, but the steps have been taken for me and the dogs to take up a new residence in May. Fingers crossed!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Give Me A Platform

2011-03-08T06:52:00.000-06:00

How do we feel about platform beds? Be honest. This is my back we're talking about.

I like the way they look, and for some reason I feel like I would like to have one. Not this one, of course, but as someone who seeks efficiency, I do like the idea of the storage drawers beneath. No longer would I need to hide my Glock between the mattress and box spring. I could have a designated drawer for it. Brilliant! (Kidding on the Glock, interwebz gun patrollers people.)

Thoughts?

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

REFORMED!

2011-03-03T06:49:00.000-06:00


Please don't think me bougie.

As my STOTT PILATES education has evolved, so have my thoughts on owning pilates apparatus. While I am employed part-time at a full-service studio, I teach at night and to be quite honest, there are times when I just want to come home after a.) a long day at the office and b.) a few hours teaching at the studio. My dogs are very special to me, and staying behind 1 more hour to workout leaves me feeling guilty that they're home alone while I'm focusing on flexing my spine.

When I received the news I'd passed my Level II Certification examination earlier this year, I decided to invest in a commercial-grade reformer and additional apparatus to complement the spring wall I've had for nearly a year. I chose the SPX Max Reformer from STOTT simply because it was exactly the same height as my platform and could work in conjunction with the spring wall if I also had the mat converter (the large black board leaning against the wall). I bought a bundle package that includes the reformer box and all sorts of other goodies, then also chose said mat converter, the jumpboard (plyometric cardio goodness), and the rotational diskboard (both of these at left as well) which is all kinds of challenging for the deep stabilizers of both the hips and the shoulder girdle. I also got a deluxe arc barrel for matwork which is, in my opinion, one of the most amazing (and affordable) props you can incorporate into a workout. I have retained the platform I built, of course, and will continue to use.

The placement of my "studio" isn't ideal simply because there's not enough room on the left side for large rotational work or certain exercises involving abduction, but I can implement lots of modifications to achieve this or, you guessed it, hit up the Big Studio when a proper port de bras is the only thing that will make me feel better.

p.s. This is the "surprise" I referenced in my last blog post and, yes, I did do my 10 "squats," after getting the reformer installed yesterday. I chose to do plies in the hip abduction position. Yowzas!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Diddly-Squat

2011-03-01T16:53:00.001-06:00

Glute Camp: A Better Butt Without Surgery | ThePostGame

I have decided to make March a month of ... squats! I am doing at least 10 squats per day for the entire month of March. Mostly because there are tons of varieties out there (I have some personal favorites, and others I'm eager to discover), but also because, when done correctly, squats are very effective at reducing my anterior pelvic tilt. Engaging the glutes/hamstrings to spin the pelvis into a more neutral position also involves quite a bit of abdominal work - particularly transverse abdominus to maintain the pelvis in neutral.

I have to think this is a good thing. I've had a rough few months and haven't really been skippy on the workouts. This must change! I have a surprise I hope to post tomorrow as well, which will address my increased focus and motivation to "get right."

Today I did squats using my STOTT PILATES spring wall. These are my favorites, of all the squats I've done, because you use the arm springs which really challenges stability and forces correct recruitment through the core. And because these squats go from flexion of the spine to neutral position of the spine, both the rectus and transverse are worked, along with the hip extensors and flexors.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Dogscaping

2011-02-23T06:42:00.001-06:00

I have never had a dog who required grooming. I used to strip one of my Jack Russell's broken coat about 2x per year, but if I didn't he didn't get dreadlocks or any other nasties and, in fact, just looked more Gremlin-y. Maddie is very smooth coated so she is low-maintenance. Glenwood, on the other hand, is a very different story. I found this video on YouTube and had to post because it made me laugh - mostly because I think this Aussie is a.) adorable and b.) has this "You violate me" look about him that Geege also possesses. To put it mildly, grooming is not his favorite activity, but he is learning to be better about it.

I vacuum at least 2x per week and in my 900 sq. feet I have to empty my wind tunnel at least 2-3x. The more I groom and shed him, the better. If anyone has tips on training him to stand, as opposed to lying on his back, I am all ears!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

I'm Out Of Time And All I've Got Is 10 Minutes

2011-02-22T06:47:00.000-06:00

As a pilates instructor I am very blessed to be able to work with a variety of clients. In the 3+ years since I began teaching, the range has included high-school athletes and dancers to post-partum mothers to geriatric clients (just to name a few!). Many years ago I explored exercise regimens for myself under the auspices of a "more is better" approach. Indeed, I would get through a difficult workout, be sore for 3 days, and eventually bag the whole effort because I could barely lift my legs to get into bed. For many of these years I was concurrently competing my horses and the approach to their fitness was quite different. "Legging up" a horse is done very carefully and methodically (or at least should be) as horses have rather delicate support structures - think about it, an average 1200 pound horse distributes his weight on 4 legs roughly the size of mine!As part of the overall program, one not only focuses on strengthening the supporting joint anatomy, but also the cardio-vascular system. As prey animals, horses are equipped with rapid speed to flee perceived threats, but in feral scenarios they seldom gallop unless they are startled. The "short-burst" approach, or what this article defines as interval training, thusly, nets very effective results.

I have changed my outlook on exercise altogether in the past five years. Instead of seeking a physical ideal, I subscribe to the theory of a functional ideal, and if it is aesthetically pleasing, then that's great, but it's not the primary reason for engaging in exercise. It's to be able to reach items on the top shelf of the cupboard without incurring a hitch in the getalong! I tell my clients that 10 minutes of exercise over the course of 5 days is 50 minutes, so it does have a cumulative, sustainable effect. If feeling like 1-2 hours is a baseline commitment or else you'll just not participate, the reality is you'll spend more time being sedentary and only contribute to your declining functionality, particularly as we age.

So, with that said, I'm off to the spring wall for 10 minutes of rolldown bar work. It's been a tough few weeks of performance rehearsals that culminated with Bal Masque XVIII over the weekend. I need to recommit to my own health and practices. Get up, it's time - your life, your choice!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Bum Like You

2011-01-25T06:43:00.000-06:00

I know, I suck. It's just downright unacceptable that my blog has dried up into a prune. As an apology, I'd like to offer up something I consider spectacular, pure, and inspiring. This is my favorite track on the "Robyn" album - the acoustic version. In the coming months I intend to tackle intense subjects here at the old blogstead, as I surf toward the big Four-Oh. Intense subjects like "Zappos.com: Love Or Hate?" and "Donkey Kong Country Returns: At 40, It's Great For Mind/Body Control." Stay tuned 23 followers - you light up my life and I'm sorry I've been such a bum.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Lemon Rice

2010-11-22T06:37:00.000-06:00

As a matter of fact, I have made this more than once. Because I've actually made it twice, and because I'm very ADHD (less H, more D), that qualifies it as an old family favorite. Can you substitute vegetable broth for chicken broth? You know you can.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I say classy-up your rice to show everyone how much you really care. Nothing says "Oh girl I care," like freshly grated lemon zest. It's aces, as far as I'm concerned!

LEMON RICE

Ingredients
2-1/2 cups chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon Cajun Chef Cayenne Pepper
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 cup Falcon medium grain rice
1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon zest
2 tablespoon chopped fresh dill (or parsley)
2 tablespoons butter

Steps
Heat the broth, salt, black pepper, cayenne and garlic in a heavy saucepan and bring the mixture to a boil. Stir in the rice, cover and simmer until the liquid is absorbed, about 20 to 30 minutes. Remove from the heat. Stir in the lemon zest. Let stand, covered, for five minutes. Add the dill and butter and gently stir to mix. Serve warm. Serves 4 to 6.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

The Rules (Of The Road)

2010-11-17T06:26:00.000-06:00

A very funny thing happened a few weeks back. I was navigating my typical morning work route - a route I've traveled over 4 years now - and was the first vehicle in the left lane of a double-lane right merge intersection (y'all know the one: Rice Mine Road Extension turning right onto Highway 82, it's in front of Buddy's). Both lanes are directed by a green arrow. The lane on the right has a yield sign. The lane on the left is turn-on-arrow only. I know this because there's a sign at least 4 feet high and 4 feet wide that says "Right On Arrow Only."

Because I drive a go-cart, I am quite keen on defensive driving: one miscalculated error and suddenly I'm the albacore in the can. So on this morning, I was sitting there waiting for the light to turn green, thinking the things I normally think ("I wonder how pole dancing would work for the next benefit I organize?" "Who do I have to sleep with to get a little liposuction?" "Did I put on deodorant today?") when suddenly I was jarred to reality by a blaring horn. Initially I thought the light had changed and I was late in my reaction but something told me that wasn't possible, since I'd actually just arrived at the signal (hence my first position in line).

So I looked in my rear view mirror to see a small, white-haired woman in a mid-size sedan. She was flailing her arms at me and mouthing the word "Go!" and then pushing the back of her hand toward the right, as if I were swine and she was sending me to the chute. I was flummoxed. I looked to the left, and certainly the oncoming traffic was not as heavy as it had been, but I am a rule follower, and I was in a very clearly marked lane. I am not a.) risking my life b.) risking someone else's life or c.) getting a ticket because Louise is late for bridge. And because I'm a gentleman who has a high degree of respect for matronly women, I politely pointed to the sign and shook my head no.

Well honey, let me just tell you, apparently that was the invitation she needed to tap into her rage. Never have I seen a Q-Tip so animated, so opinionated, so "There's NO ONE COMING!" Goodbye Louise the bridge player, hello Ellen Burstyn diet-pill addict in "Requiem For A Dream." I wasn't looking to go head-up with anyone that morning, so resisted the urge to get out of my car, walk back to her, thump her upside her roller set and say, "Yo, chill out Louise!" Instead, I obeyed the traffic signal, got onto the highway, merged into the right lane, waited for her head-shakin' distraught self to come up beside me and, because I'm nearly 40, gave her the finger with a clearly mouthed "Fuck You" for effect. Mature? No. Impactive? Yes. Suddenly she got all Miss Tuscaloosa "Well I never ..." as she drove along.

I immediately thought of following her to her destination, calmly inquiring as to her urgent need to progress through traffic, and caution her on aggressive antics since technically she could get a shiv for that, but decided to leave it alone. There is a moral to this story, however. A thorough understanding and review of the rules of the road is probably always important. I do believe re-testing for driver licenses is a good thing, because we only retain so much information and knowledge. I grew up with skilled drivers for parents, who placed emphasis on knowing the rules of the road, and also took driver's education in high school so, for a long time, I was very capable of reciting rules and how they applied to certain scenarios, and how I practiced them as a driver. Lately, however, I've been a bit foggy on a few - probably the result of the sorostitutes I endure daily because in their universe, driving is more freestyle - so I've dug around and unearthed the official Alabama Driver License Manual and am giving it a thorough review.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Mango Tango

2010-11-16T07:13:00.001-06:00

Mangos. You need them. And here's why.

A few months back my friend C Diddy and I got our shopping on one Saturday. While our primary goal was to hit up Urban Outfitters, I also had a Bed Bath & Beyond trick up my sleeve. Reason? At that point, it was actually an olive pitter, because of course life is too short to not have one, and all you ever have to do to realize this is attempt to make olive tapenade with just your paring knife and a mild hangover. However, upon entering the kitchen kingdom and seeing the hand appliance Wall O'Plenty, I knew my life would not be complete until I also had an Oxo Good Grips Mango Splitter. In fact, I gasped and said, "Clayton, I think I would eat more mangoes if I had this mango splitter."

In the summer of Aught 5, I was visiting my family in Mobile (Wilmer, to be precise) from Arkansas. I was freshly single, maybe still a little stunned, and my aunt and I decided on a random Saturday afternoon to utilize the mangoes I'd brought with me from my kitchen, since they'd have otherwise rotted by the time I returned from the trip. We opted for mango margaritas. The first batch was so amazing - she, myself, my mom and my sister unanimously agreed - that we jumped in her car and ran up to the Wilmer produce stand hellbent on finding more for pitcher 2. We did. They were equally as memorable. In fact, it's those moments I always remember first about family and friends: random, unplanned, spontaneous occurrences that engage us at our root level and serve no purpose other than a framework for love, respect and admiration. We all need to feel those moments more. And speaking of roots, mangoes grow deep in ours. My grandmother was a native of St. Cloud, Florida, which is near Kissimmee (which she pronounced "Ku-sih-ma,") and her love for mangoes was demonstrated by her discerning standards for selecting them. She was with us on the afternoon we decided to mix their magic with tequila and Triple Sec.

In the same vein, one of my best friends who spontaneously appeared in my life a little over 3 years ago informed me he was bringing mango margaritas to an outside event in his hometown of Atlanta a few summers back. I knew from experience that was an arduous task (there's a reason why mangoes are so good - the effort of peeling them can be rather daunting). And so when I showed up at his house to help, I wasn't surprised to find his kitchen an orange mushy mess, and his forehead beading with sweat and his face full of Mango Regret. The margaritas? Stellar, of course. I won't ever forget that day either. After 3 I challenged a complete stranger to an Indian Leg Wrestling match in Piedmont Park. Fueled by my special ingredient, it was short work.

I share with another aunt a gift/curse as a Zodiac Cancer/Leo + Chinese Year Pig. I represent the Cancer Pigs. My mother discovered this for us just a few months ago, actually. Earlier this year we were having a mutual preening (read "group therapy") conversation and I said, "You know, I'm just always seeking a better system." She wholeheartedly agreed. As it turns out, we are both prone to invest in appliances and tools that make a job more efficient and easy. My mother uses the same sad little potato peeler she has had for 45 years, despite the fact I've bought her several others over the years. That's what makes the world go around, of course. But if you're prone to avoid mango consumption because you're intimidated or put-off by peeling them, I highly encourage adding the Oxo Good Grips Mango Splitter to your kitchen arsenal.

And if you do, I hope the resulting stories are as rich in love and memory as the fruit is antioxidants.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

The Cloud

2010-11-15T06:37:00.000-06:00

For me there are 2 things: documents and more documents or, as I like to call it, Shit I Have To File. In life, we all have crosses to bear and I must say apparently I've done something really wrong in previous existences because all I want is everything neat and organized (and preferably out-of-sight). You'd think with access to a relatively bright intern I'd be able to accomplish this but all I tend to get are vacant stares, gum-smacking, "How do you want me to do it?" questions, and general push-back. This is the problem with Millenials, folks. Love them like whoa for their fierce confidence and sense of self, disappointed in their inability to self-start. I have faith, of course, that one day this too shall pass and we'll evolve to a place where it's easy to place information and, more important, access it. As such, I've been increasing my use of Google Documents over the past year or so and I must say I've been fairly pleased. This is all at a personal level, of course, but it is my hope that eventually I will also have a tag-able/shareable/venerable system that a.) I don't have to deal with and b.) if I do have to deal with it it's easy and makes sense.

In other news, my porch spinach continues to waffle on the "Girl I'm just not sure I can make it vs. I'm A Little Engine Who Can!" fence. I am holding it accountable for surviving but not entirely confident success is our destiny. I hope it is, though. I need more rich in iron and anti-oxidant food sources in my life!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Designer Barn

2010-10-06T06:23:00.000-05:00

When people ask me, "Did you grow up in a barn?" I have to answer honestly: yes. For the most part, the only place I ever wanted to live was the hayloft. As a youngster we actually outfitted the hayloft at our barn into the world's most awesome pigeon and feral cat-infested penthouse known to lower Alabama. I am pretty sure my friends and I slept there every free night we could. Fast-forward to 2005, when I had a big life shift, and suddenly had the opportunity to move into the barn at my friend's place. I lived there exactly one year, and I have to say it was quite possibly the best year of my life. Not only was my landlord totally bangin', we were right around the corner from our equally bangin' friend and her farm, and just 2 miles from a really lovely equestrian park on the Arkansas River. Life, that year, was about 2 things: riding our horses and drinking wine in the evenings on someone's front porch.

As you can see, it was a pretty swanky place, and I do count my blessings. I loved being able to look into the front paddock and see my horse (that's Rhodes, by the way), and Maddie was able to fulfill her instincts to hunt (fill in the blank ... hunting is what she does!) and sit in my lap while I drove the tractor. She loves tractor rides.

My friend Holly has an amazing company and vision and I love looking at her website and imagining what I'd build if I were so inclined and in a position to return to a life with horses. I have to say, the longer I've gone out of the tack, the more objective I've become where that life/lifestyle is concerned. A life with horses and on a farm is fairly binding, but it's incredibly fulfilling. You tend to have lots of friends who don't hold muck on your boots or dirt under your fingernails against you, and though you might think a one-topic ongoing dialogue (horses: how my ride went, how your ride went) could get flat, it's surprisingly complex and thusly stays pretty fresh.

There is a big piece of me that would like to recreate this life. Fortunately, I've lived long enough and had enough other experiences to know what I do/don't want, and how to establish a home that has more balance and allows me to integrate the many facets and pursuits that make me tick. I'm not sure when that will happen, but it's really fun to think about.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Horned Toad

2010-09-24T07:08:00.000-05:00


Mess with me and I will squirt blood from my eyes.

I hear MSJ shrieking as I type. Her irrational fear of lizards is the result of me tormenting her as children with the anoles that are so abundant in these here parts. I was a geeky kid and loved to read the encyclopaedia and any other literature I could access that referenced animals. I wanted to be a veterinarian and suppose that probably is one of those "missed calling" things I'll have to index into my life but let me just tell you, when this reptile went scampering across the sidewalk between the holly bushes on Sunday my first thought was "Not a chipmunk, probably not a Gremlin, but damn sure ain't from around here!" On Monday I got a close-up view of what I think to be a horned toad someone has apparently released and that is surviving quite well outside. In fact, this image was shot Tuesday at lunch: the lizard was stalking a butterfly. So nature-y.

Envisioning my own little private "Jurassic Park," I shared this information with the maintenance staff who said they'd been trying to trap the lizard for over a month, and are increasing their efforts as impending cooler weather will certainly not bode well for it, so hopefully it will end well. A note to the asshole who released the lizard: take responsibility for your actions. DO NOT ACQUIRE PETS FOR WHICH YOU CANNOT CARE but, if you find yourself at a precipice, do the right thing by the animal and find it an appropriate home.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Watch List

2010-09-20T07:00:00.001-05:00

Holy One Month Behind on the blog, Batman. This is entirely unacceptable. Life has been a whirlwind as of late but the good news is it has stilled and that is now the state in which I anticipate it shall stay, at least until the holidays. I have spent the better part of September traveling. Labor Day weekend afforded me the opportunity to visit my family in Mobile, and to take an adjunct drive to New Orleans for a few days. I barely had time to sleep before departing for Toronto less than a week later where I spent a full week completing my Level II (Advanced) STOTT PILATES training and hanging out with friends from both Colorado and Canada. It was a very good time and just what the doctor ordered.

If I could change anything about it, it would be this. Yes, for whatever reason I AM (I know this because a kind airline employee confirmed it in Salt Lake City this spring) on a watch list. And while my carry-on baggage often contains super suspicious items like Sea Salt Body Scrub from Lush, I hardly think I should be judged so routinely because I carry a common name. I was once held in US Customs for nearly an hour only to have an agent finally ask me, "Did you ever live in Ohio?" I said, "No." He said, "OK, you're through." Really? God I feel so much safer now.

Anyhoodle, I am stoked to be home for awhile so I can finalize my 2010 Personal Organization project, get prepared for Christmas, and work on Glenwood's remedial housebreaking issue that began the day I returned. My new shag rug is NOT grass, G-Diddy. You shall not pee upon it!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Yer Kin

2010-08-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

I swear I'm not to the point (yet) of going all hardcore genealogist. I haven't even finished sorting through consulting files from 2002. The last thing I need is more records to manage. But I have to say, I'm interested in it and it might become my "new thing" as soon as I write a book>get it published>option screenplay>appear on Oprah in the ice blue Prada sweater.

One of the careers that was suggested to me via an aptitude test taken in high school (back when we had lead pencils, kids) was "private investigator." This was in the heyday of "Magnum, P.I." and "Cagney and Lacey," so I thought that was pretty cool but times being what they were, I chose a different path. Sidenote: Does that mean I didn't take my grandmother's Doberman named "Belle" for a walk nearly everyday and pretend she was both Zeus and Apollo and instead of Alabama it was Hawaii? No, it doesn't. Because I so did.

I do have an eye for little details and penchant for recall and sequencing, so I think it might be fun to embark on this journey. My mother's people (I love saying that and because I'm Southern I can - if you're not Southern, you can't say it ... it's just like that) are fairly well documented thanks to a a devoted distant cousin from Lexington, Tennessee, who passed recently. But the Johnsons are a mystery. My uncle Butch, who left us in May, gave me a little background about 20 years ago when he was visiting from Virginia. I just knew there had to be someone really decadent and spectacular in our gene pool but he assured me, in his amazingly pragmatic way, that we were "as common as shit." He didn't have a ton of information but two things stood out: a distant connection to Lyndon Baines Johnson and something about "Black Dutch."

The Black Dutch thing sounded really mysterious, of course, and initially I thought it could explain a lot - like why I love Missy Elliott so much and could be classified as a Booty Do - but have come to realize those people are rather swarthy and prone to criminal mischief. Which is, of course, what I find intriguing.

All things aside, my friend Ryan and I were having a discussion last night about terminology of "once removed" and "twice removed," etc. He was trying to explain verbally and I was attempting to draw a diagram on the microsuede of my sofa. Thankfully there's genealogy.com and the interwebs for other images. I really like this one and am keeping it for reference.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Lil' Ruby

2010-08-23T06:35:00.000-05:00

Click image for larger perspective.

Because I majored in butterflies and minored in ponies, I also feed hummingbirds. This is not big news, as I've been feeding them at the office for a few years now. However, I have increased my hummingbird footprint and added a feeder to my veranda after nearly getting my head taken off by an errant chick when I was harvesting basil. Yes, I said it, VERANDA and HARVESTING BASIL: let the record show I am now Martha Bloody Stewart.

Immediately the family began using the feeder, without much hesitation. In fact, initially I wondered if they were rabid because I had not one but two really blessed occasions to be about 2' away from the feeder while a tiny hen perched and fed. I could see areas on her body that had not fully developed plumage and the shine of her tiny black eyeballs as she tilted her head ever-so-slightly. This image is of a young male, as noted by his ruby throat. I actually shot it using my zoom, through the glass door, but thought it was also a unique vantage point.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Apathy, it's what's for summer!

2010-08-12T06:58:00.000-05:00

I need more fire in my belly. Dog training and home organizing are very consuming subjects, but I'm left with this obvious feeling of apathy where most everything else is concerned. I have to question if I've evolved enough to simply avoid emotional investment, or if I've just invested too much emotionally over 39 years and am flat-lining. The latter is more dramatic, so I'll go with B, Alex, for the Daily Double. At some point I am going to address feeling like a carcass that has used to capacity by scavengers. I just need to be strategic in how I go about this daunting task. Stay tuned!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Come Into The Closet

2010-08-03T06:41:00.000-05:00

I didn't take a before pic because I'd already made one intermediate "improvement" to my closet but, on one of the hottest weekends of summer (and in Alabama, that's saying something), I opted to stay in for a RADICAL closet overhaul. Should it take 3 days to remove existing shelving and add new shelving? Probably not. It does when you're me though, and everything has to be super level and plumb and precise. Result? I can walk all the way in and all of my luxuriation is contained in one space. Huzzah!

Was I thrilled to be able to modify a free-standing shoe-rack by fixing to the wall? Did I chop down the width of an existing one using a mere hacksaw? Why yes I was, and why yes I did.

Closet redo was Step 1 in a quest to relocate my pilates spring wall. Note to file: Spring Wall is a whore to relocate so don't plan any other functional crazies until you move. I still haven't finished my 2010 Year Of Organizational Change list, but I've gotten really far. I need to hang a few more shelves and edit a few more things, but overall I'm really pleased with tracking and it's been fun to have a goal to which I'm really committed.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Continuing With The Crazy

2010-07-28T06:51:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the nudge, Sue-age!

All is well here in the Seventh Circle of Hell. It rained yesterday at lunch, and the steam that followed was literally - and I say that in the most Rachel Zoe way possible ... "Lit'trall-eee" suffocating. Still, I managed to hang my hummingbird feeders at the office because, suddenly, it's nearly August and I've not done that. Why did I decide to? Two days in a row my little hummer lit in the dogwood and sent me a telepathic message. "It's hard out here for a hummer," he said. How can you say "no" to that? How?

Because I'm planning to buy a crib next year, it only makes sense that I suddenly begin treating my apartment like it is, in fact, my own. Save money for closing costs when, instead, you can modify your closet? Yeah, that makes sense. However, for $60, I think I'm close to quashing a lingering annoyance I've had for 4 years now ... I cannot fit all of my clothes into a walk-in closet that, while small, should be better equipped and designed. As my girl Tonya told me yesterday, "$6 a month for your remaining 10 months - and happy - is worth it." She's right.

And even though I edited wardrobe earlier this year, I'm prepared to do it again once my modification with new shelving is complete. If it cannot fit into the space, I probably don't need it. People who reside on the Robby Hand-Me-Down list, prepare. There could be H&M in your near future.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Cymbals and Drums

2010-07-19T06:27:00.000-05:00

The results of my pot rack "vision" are included here. I would like to state, for the record, that the only thing I was able to achieve from a goal perspective was staying below $30 on the hardware. Even though I spent $20 additional on dog items since Lowe's now has a pet area and apparently I cannot say no to a Nylabone.

Even though it only took 30 minutes to build the square frame (those were the leftover boards from building the mat platform for the spring wall), installation took several hours, and the box itself isn't 100% square. That's the result of trimwork that really should've been finished in a wood shop with a fine blade saw. And ideally I could've glued the pieces together and secured them with some sort of concealed joint. However, in the spirit of repurposing and utilizing existing resources, I just went with big stainless wood screws. I decided I would call it a very IKEA look.

I didn't plan to purchase another board but once I started seeking a rafter for permanent mounting, my luck took a nose dive. Because the rack itself only weighs about 5 pounds, and because the total pots/pans (excluding 2 cast iron skillets which I never use and, as such, was willing to store elsewhere) are probably another 25, I thought I'd install those on the ceiling with 4 drywall toggle bolts each and then hang the hooks from there. Lo and behold I only had to do one of those per board because I hit a rafter on the end pilot holes so I feel relatively confident we're set for awhile. And I was able to store my two flat skillets on diagonal corners on top of the box.

Yes, I went a bit overboard with chain. Let's just say if I ever need to haunt a house, I'm covered. But inside the box I incorporated a suspended chain with S-hooks for hanging the lids to the pots. This is an image I took lying on the floor because, let's face it, I'm a geek, and all I could think as I was in such a precarious position was playing "Pots and Pans" with my mother's utensils when we were kids. She'd give us a wooden spoon and we'd attempt to make music. I can only imagine how awful that must've sounded, but my mother is aces and always seemed to be able to rise above the small stuff. She did not, nor does she now, have a pot rack.

I also thought I'd stain the wood (and may still, eventually), but for now it matches and is rather pleasant in its natural state. Anyone who has visited me and bonked their heads on the 3 apothecary jars I had hanging from a light fixture in "the library" will be pleased to see they've been relocated and are hovering well above 6'! I think they add a fun touch of color.

And finally, none of this would've been possible without the guarding eye of Glenwood. He's such a sheepdog; he lies in the floor and watches, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. Pretty cute huh?

Now that I've achieved this goal, I think I need to cook something "pots and pans-y." Maybe a good summer soup is in order. Possibly gazpacho!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Don't Bother

2010-07-15T05:44:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I woke up singing this song but, I did. And hey, it's Shakira - not Karen Carpenter - so I'm counting my blessings. Shakira, in my not-so-humble-opinion, is pretty much a goddess and I a.) love this song and b.) think the video is SMOKIN'. So there. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

It's Recently Come To My Attention ...

2010-07-14T21:27:00.000-05:00

NOTE: This is not my kitchen, nor is this my project.

In the days of yore, I had a simple pot rack in my kitchen at the house in Little Rock and I hearted it like whoa. It wasn't as substantial as even this one, but it served my little kitchen needs really well. And it did a few things I find invaluable in the kitchen: opened up valuable cabinet space, made it really easy to grab pots/pans, and served as a semi-drying apparatus. Occasionally it also served as a bump to my noggin but hey, who doesn't benefit from the odd "Stay Proprioceptive" reminder?

Since installing the pilates spring wall, I've decided that life is too short not to have my stuff in even more freakishly structured order, so I'm going balls-to-the-wall and drilling 4 more holes into my kitchen ceiling this weekend. Why, you ask? Well, as part of Operation Spring Wall, I have 4 leftover 1 x 6 boards, 2' long, that have been sitting in the corner. I knew I could use them for something but was waiting for the idea/light bulb moment. It came to me today and I've spent part of the evening sketching/troubleshooting, etc. After I completed those steps, I Googled for some additional images and found this one, which is semi-reminiscent of what I hope to achieve.

My big challenge will be finding ceiling rafters around an existing florescent light fixture, but I'm sure it can be done. Famous last words, right? So here's my personal goal/challenge:

Hardware for assembling + stain/finish for <$30.
Assembly of pot rack < 30 minutes.
Installation of pot rack < 30 minutes.

Stay tuned for the outcome. I should be writing and being more productive in other aspects of my life right now, but sometimes I have to surrender to the construction process. Particularly when it makes the residential environment more functional and easier to navigate. Cancer: 101. We nest. It's what we do.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Photo Organization

2010-06-30T06:08:00.000-05:00

I'll be the first person to say that, where personal possessions are concerned, the thought of losing my photographs is probably one of my greatest haunts. I love images: the moments they capture and the history they represent are enriching.

Another thing they are is stress-inducing! With my patented and trademarked practice of "Why put off today what you can do tomorrow?" I have fallen perfectly into the "Boxes of Prints; Mangled Hard Drive" category and am working diligently to take control. The hard drive piece isn't quite as perplexing, but sorting through 34 years of prints is a little eye-crossing.

I haven't downloaded the book from OrganizedPhotos.com (yet) but think I'm going to as I've gotten pretty far into my system and think I'm at a place where some wisdom could really have a positive influence on the choices I make. Basically, I've taken all of my photographs and am sorting them into 5 different stacks: Robby (pictures primarily of me); Pets (dogs and horses and, yes, this is the largest stack); Family; Friends; Travel and Scenery. At this point I'm simply in the first phase of sorting. Once this is finished, I intend to go through each stack again, culling any duplicates and editing photographs that would certainly be a "delete" on a modern digital camera.

From there, I'll organize each stack into groups, as best as possible ("Cancun 1994," for example, in the Travel and Scenery category), then will scan everything at a high-resolution. Once scanned, the files/folders will be burned to DVD and stored in my fire-retardant safety box. I'll also optimize any images I want to include in a photo book (I like the ones from Shutterfly) or display in a digital frame. I'm also going to follow this same system with the images on my computer, and beginning in January, 2011, I'll simply backup everything to DVD from 2010. Hopefully I'll have a process that can be tweaked as technology evolves but, fundamentally, is buoyant.

As soon as I'm finished with my stuff, I'm going to tackle my mother's boxes for her. My working mantra was inherited, I must admit, but that doesn't change the fact that archiving our history is important.

Is it crazy to be this focused? What tips might anyone reading this share?

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

C A K E

2010-06-28T21:15:00.000-05:00

So my sister, nieces, and mother visited over the weekend and my mom had endured 30 days of "friendship cake" starter and brought me a baked loaf. I DIE for it in hunks. It's so not swimsuit season-friendly and, yet, who cares?

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Mr G "Leaving"

2010-06-23T18:51:00.000-05:00

So, here's the thing - Laura-Catherine's brother Harrison posted 1 little video on her Facebook page and I have been sucked into a YouTube vortex of Summer Heights High. It's killing me - but not as much as my bangin' new Robyn album "Body Talk: Part 1." I can't stop listening to it. Lots of things are "parallelin'" for me right now. I've essentially lost the time to blog in the a.m. as a result of my super intense dog walks/training sessions which we do from 6 a.m. - 7 a.m. G Diddy or, as I've taken to calling him, "Sheepdog," is doing really well. I actually haven't put him in obedience class because I couldn't quite get a read on the modality prior to enrollment and while I never sugarcoat things when it comes to animal training, I can tell his temperament is one that could be quickly imprinted. So I'm choosing, instead, to continue working with him daily and we've actually added a clicker to the process and it's a lot of fun. He is beginning to get a fairly dependable "sit." My summer goal is to teach him to walk on a slack leash, "down," "stay," "off," and "leave it." His recall has been good but I added the clicker to it for learning to return the bouncy ball and twice today I've been nearly steamrolled by a 23 pound dog! Maddie is benefiting from the remediation as well as providing a good example for him to emulate. I'm thrilled we decided to add him to our home. He really has made it more fun.

On the pilates front, I was really excited last Thursday to receive notification that I'd passed my Level I certification examination (with a pretty formidable score too, thankfully). I am ecstatic and am now looking forward to completing the advanced training in Toronto in September.

Finally, the event I organized for West Alabama AIDS Outreach (WAAO) last weekend, a jazz brunch called "Sweet Summer Song," was a big success and we're already beginning discussions for its sequel.

With these things behind me, I'm now shifting my gears and seriously beginning to write the novel I've outlined/reoutlined/started/stopped over the past 5 years. In keeping, my "blog time" is shifting to the end of the day. I find when I blog frequently I'm more prone to write frequently, so I need to stay committed to my purpose.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

TO ... Here We Go!

2010-06-17T06:25:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting here typing this entry with a dog literally beneath my chair. One mismanaged shift and I'm sure it's going to result in Shreikzilla: He Came From Outer Space, but for some dysfunctional reason, I am quite OK with him needing to be close. Maddie has always been Miss Independent and, at this moment, has decided she should exert her Alphaness by sleeping on the prince's new dog bed in the boudoir. But enough about dogs. I swear I'm not going to become Crazy Dog Guy (again).

To the left is a super happy chic sitting on a pilates reformer. I began my pilates instructor training in 2007, not really sure where it would go but I did have a secret pipe dream: to go all the way with it by 2010. Having tested for my full level-1 STOTT PILATES certification in May (and anticipating results soon), I enrolled in Advanced Reformer training in March, and am now enrolled for Advanced Matwork and Advanced Cadillac/Chair/Barrels in Toronto, at STOTT PILATES flagship training center in September.

Once this training is complete, I'll test solely on the collective Advanced repertoires then, at some point soon thereafter, will enroll in a course called Injuries and Special Populations (ISP) which focuses on modifications for physical limitations and rehabilitative scenarios. Yes, that means pregnant chics too. In 2007 I was adamant that I knew nothing about birthin' no babies (still don't) and positively wouldn't teach anyone who was pregnant. Of course, back then I also only wanted to teach fit/pretty people, but what I quickly learned is that I derive a lot more satisfaction as an instructor by teaching individuals with physical limitations. And earlier this year I had a very odd Witchy experience: my pal and long-time client came in for an evening class after a brief job-shift hiatus from the schedule. For no reason other than intuition I immediately knew she was pregnant. She said, "Take it easy on my, it's been awhile, and I'm going to have to go easy anyway," and confirmed my suspicion with a wink of the eye.

So I'm excited to continue this learning - particularly with a friend who is sharing this path with me, despite living in Colorado. We're camping out at a bed and breakfast in mid-city Toronto, incidentally the week of the Toronto International Film Festival, and are planning to enjoy the city and, of course, stalk Clive Owen. What makes it even more enticing is that I get to visit all of the many wonderful friends I've made in Toronto as a result of sending my mare, Willow Bay, to be bred there in 2001. I had the opportunity to visit in both 2002 and 2003, and I'm eager to reconnect with them for a little Showcase Showdown.

I am very thankful for the people who have entered my life and encouraged me to continue seeking and searching. I will turn 40 in 2011, and even though I joke (and by joke I mean sometimes I'm not joking) about resisting, as the cliche' goes I know it's futile.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Over The Shoulder

2010-06-14T07:20:00.000-05:00

As it turns out, Glenwood is developing quite the personality. This is, of course, why he begins obedience class tonight. He's such a sweet, expressive, funny little dog. It's always rewarding to see positive traits emerge in a pet. Our routine is such that we walk each morning, about 3 miles. This seems to keep the energy/crazies at bay, but only for about 18 hours. It's my hope that our class will begin giving us some additional tools for mental stimulation. Admittedly, he's pretty uncomplicated from that perspective so I do count myself blessed. What's super funny about him, though, is his love of a belly rub and his hyper-mobile hips, which allow him to spread out like a bear-skin rug. This morning we had a supermodel photoshoot after I dried his dew-wet legs and belly. He gave me this rich over-the-shoulder pose as a freebie. I think Tyra Banks would be proud.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Five Finger Discount

2010-06-07T07:29:00.000-05:00

A few posts back, I referenced my fondness for modern products that edit and enhance the fundamentals in life. Keep it simple, stupid, continues to be a really good m.o.

This week's entry: barefoot running.

I have seen the Virbram Five Fingers "shoes" for several years around the pilates studio and, of course, with my yoga instructor. I had to laugh (and by laugh of course I mean judge) because of the way some ooey-gooey people communicate their insights on these things. Por ejemplo, " Energy abounds in your footbed. With these shoes my feet feel things. And when my feet feel things, I feel things. And that makes me happy."

OK.

Perhaps it's my long-term experience with horses, and understanding that "corrective" anything is almost always a disaster. Well-intended attempts to correct something in the feet will almost always affect a joint higher in the column. Of course this makes sense for people too.

Another positive aspect of my dirt road upbringing? BAREFOOTED, baby! I am pretty sure I wore shoes once each week (or only when I was riding my horse) during summer break, and I have to say I had no pain then. A few unplanned disasters - like jumping over a fence and landing on a broken mason jar nearly slicing off a large chunk of the side of my foot, which my father corrected with a few pieces of masking tape and a "you-be-aight" - sure, but never any joint pain. Unlike my unsuccessful attempts at running, over the years, in my fitted-just-for-my-stride running shoes that still render my knees to sharp, shooting pain despite MRI that reveals nothing.

And so it goes I will be tapping into the barefoot trend this summer, only this time I'll have a little protection to cover my dogs. I'll let you know how loud they bark during the transition.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Junio!

2010-06-01T06:55:00.000-05:00

Here it is, nearly halfway through 2010 and what do you know? I have a new dog. I intend to write a proper entry about Glenwood, and how I came about acquiring him, but for now will just post a picture of our riverside stroll this morning.

He is a 14-week +/- miniature black-tri Australian Shepherd. Right now he is adjusting to life "in the city," having lived entirely at his breeder's place in the country rambunctiously active with his litter mates. Noise is new to him and we're taking it very slow with the introductions. And because he's a big baby, I wind up carrying him a lot of places. I am convinced, however, that he will evolve.

Maddie is quite fine with him, although she doesn't share his zest for puppy-play. She does let him lick her ears and worship her as The Queen, so it's been a fairly pleasant 72 hours. I am prepared to stay the course with physical and mental engagement - breed requirements - but so far he's good to just bounce a round a little then prone to sleep for a few hours. (The life of a puppy!)

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Hanging Gardens of Babylon III

2010-05-27T06:16:00.000-05:00

"Repurposing" is my word du jour when it comes to my little patio gardening attempts. I was mad impressed with my thoughtful conversion of some dry-rotted storage containers into planters, and am eternally optimistic in thinking that despite everything I've planted in them has ~~died immediately~~failed to thrive, they're going to give life to my started-too-late-and-unlikely-to-bear-fruit tomatoes. It's for this reason, too, I'm really excited it's farmer's market season. What we fail to produce here at the farm we can easily obtain just a stone's throw across the river. I MIGHT even add some air to the tires of mi bicicleta and ride over Saturday morning.

I also added an outdoor shade since my southwest-facing patio (complete with authentically redneck DirecTV satellite) gets all scorched and, in keeping with my redneckiness, stapled some screen to the railing. This way we get as much light as possible, but we attempt to keep the temps down a few degrees. Will it work? Only time, tomatoes, and fresh basil will tell. I am committed, however. And I will not stop until something - I don't even care what - grows and flourishes "in the garden." I am not dooming the lantana - a plant which supposedly is indestructible, although mine is looking puny - just yet. If anything, cactus is always an option!

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My Gracious Drawing Room

2010-05-25T06:21:00.000-05:00

I'm not even going to lie to you. I have worked REALLY hard over the past week to finalize my "residential overhaul." To some this may seem minor, but to me it's kind of a big deal. Like Edina Monsoon, I can't just live in anything. I'm very sensitive to my surroundings. So adding my STOTT PILATES spring wall required a fairly significant shift of furniture and reassignment of functionality to rooms/spaces within my crib. What this also means, I've decided, is that my upstairs neighbor will probably be really happy not to hear my drill for the next year.

My super-fantabulous cousin had custom bookshelves installed in her barndominium and, thankfully, I inherited her others. This led me to conceptualize how they'd fit in my space, and what I would need to do to accommodate the spring wall and my computer desk. I am happy to say I've purchased absolutely no new furniture: everything has been repurposed. That feels good. In actuality, a smaller bookcase I had is now serving beautifully as a storage system for dumb bells, medicine ball, and other exercise peripherals in my "studio." And even though my white club chair is dingy beyond repair (I paid a fortune to have it reupholstered years ago, pre-dog), I thought the slipcover that doesn't fit could get packed away for good. It's just Maddie's chair anyway, and life is too short to not have a little dog dirt here and there.

My takeaway from all of this is that life edits, like everything else, require constant administration and tweaking, and long-term planning. I am not finished yet, but I do know where I'm going (or hoping to go) and that's a good feeling.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Triumphant Return?

2010-05-19T06:44:00.001-05:00

I didn't understand the concept of the "micro-blog" when, as a professional communicator, it was introduced to me about 4 years back. "What is that, like the Daisy Dukes version of blogging?" I asked. "What could you possibly accomplish in an expression containing less than 200 characters?" Turns out, you can get quite a bit done as my a.) Facebook profile indicates and b.) my lagging blog entries support.

But let's face it, there's a time and a place for a quickie, and a time and a place for your Barry White bomchickabowwow. If we apply this comparison to communication we can see there is relevance - and requirement - to elaboration and detail. In fact, messages have always existed within a range: maybe they're short and to the point, or maybe they're conceptual and require more support. The only thing new is the medium through which they're filtered.

What I find is that if the balance shifts too much to one end of the range, the deficit is nearly immediately apparent in my mental state. Too much micro-short-get-it-done messaging and I become frenetic. Too much elaborative detail that fails to express purpose and I become impatient or bored. What matters most to me is that I'm able to accomplish the things to which I am held accountable - both personally and professionally - while having time to absorb and process new information in my quest for lifelong learning.

Over the past month, my commitments and self-imposed scales have required a great deal of attention. It's hard to believe it's nearly June and I'm still invested in my self-improvement/personal organization project. I have given myself permission to spend the entire year of 2010 working on this "life edit" because it's important to me. I want it to be an adaptive behavior, so I have better systems in place for managing scenarios to which I'm cyclically exposed.

At the same time, I am actively evolving and unwilling to yield learning opportunities that keep me both humble and interested and which I feel bring value to both my own personal repertoire as well as the physical and mental well being of others. (Insert big Ooey-Gooey Zen Sigh here.)

What does that mean, in simple terms? (Here's where we get to demonstrate message diversity.)

I planted some more tomatoes this year.
I sat for my full Level 1 STOTT PILATES certification examination last weekend.
I finally figured out how to make my wireless modem work with my laptop and suddenly my living arrangements have changed dynamically (for the better!).

Let's see if the pendulum swing to a wee bit more depth of content and reduced "life speed" will last. I am hoping it will be with me for the summer, as while I don't want to rest on my laurels, I do want to give myself a break. Life is too short for implosion.
Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Kaskade ft Haley - Dynasty

2010-05-18T16:38:00.001-05:00

Kaskade ft Haley - Dynasty

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Hipstamatic

2010-05-10T07:21:00.000-05:00

The tragically hip should always have an even more tragically hip underling to advise them of all things, well, hip. I am blessed to have a cadre of such hipsters through which I have learned of a most fantastic iPhone app called Hipstamatic. Hipstamatic is, quite honestly, the sort of dichotomy for which I live: it's a digital photo application with lenses and films that make your pictures look vintage. Brilliant!

As we scorch forward into a world of HD and augmented reality, I find a certain comfort being reminded of "the way things used to be." I'm pretty sure this is the first step to declaring yourself old but honestly, I don't even care anymore. Our culture of instant gratification leaves so much to be desired. Gone is the opportunity to wait and anticipate - like getting a roll of film processed and having 2 weeks to recall the images you shot, the way it felt, looked, smelled and hoping you'd captured it exactly that way. Normally I didn't, but the process of that recognition brought with it more value than the product itself.

When I was a boy my parents and aunt/uncles would take us to a campground nearby in Mississippi to spend a big chunk of the summer. My mother and her sister kept us fed and clean 3 times each day, but otherwise we would swim, water-ski, master the Pac-Man game in the small pavilion, etc., while they had a chance to recline, read, and relax. It was a pretty good deal across the board. It was what they did, as well, as they were growing up.

Yesterday, on Mother's Day, events sequenced in such a way that I was the only sibling with our mother. My 14 year-old niece found out on Thursday of last week her golf team had qualified for the Alabama State Championships which sent my sister's faction into a tailspin since they're competing today and tomorrow and, as such, they left for Huntsville yesterday morning. My little brother works a 4-day on/off work shift and was "on" so it just left me and the 'rents. We contemplated a seafood lunch on the causeway but after breakfast my mom decided she'd like to visit the campground to see its recent renovations. A cloudless sky and breezy upper-70's were the perfect backdrop for a picture perfect day. But the actions - and interactions - were what made it even better. We grabbed an ice chest, ran through a Subway for sandwiches, and a half-hour later we were beneath the shade of an oak tree on the edge of the lake, recalling fondly the times we'd spent there.

My mom pointed to an area and told a story I'd never heard, of how she and my dad and grandparents had camped one night in a tent when she was pregnant with my sister. That would've been 41 years ago, and I was immediately mesmerized by the thought of them there: what they said, how they looked, what they did. I saw myself at 10 years-old with 2 water skis tied together, my mom on the shore cheering me on as I popped right up and experienced gliding over water for the first time.

At the end of the picnic my parents had secured a spot for their camper for the entire month of June, which will be spent doing pretty much the same things but this time it will be my nieces and nephew who will begin the cycle and, of course, I can't wait to be there with them to share in the excitement.

Although it isn't the summer of 1968 (I wasn't even alive then!) I loved taking a picture of my parents that make it seem like it could've been. It captures not only a moment, or an era, but more special to me it captures a life.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Hanging Gardens of Bablyon II

2010-05-04T07:02:00.001-05:00

The hanging coconut fiber baskets, despite chronic watering, served as nothing more than the Fred Flinstone version of a microwave oven last summer and rendered the petunias wilted and chewy by July 1. This year we're trying something new: Hanging Butterfly Gardens of Babylon. Basket lantana is specifically developed not to spread, and the plant itself is very heat and drought tolerant. Plus, butterflies love it. Score!

Debbie at Barton Nursery gave me a tip and I'm trying it this year: line the coconut fiber with a plastic bag (poke a few holes in the bottom), then fill with potting soil. This creates a moisture barrier and prevents the fiber baskets from sucking the life out of the soil and, as such the plant.

You know you like 7th grade science class with Robby as much as I do. Admit it.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!

2010-04-29T06:45:00.001-05:00

If I found myself in Wonder Woman's lasso of truth (again) I don't think I'd struggle as much because the truth is, rope burns take a really long time to heal. And when she asked, "Did you vacuum this week?" I would say "NO! Because I HATE to vacuum."

After this awkward exchange she would ask me to accompany her in her invisible jet to somewhere really exotic and tropical as a reward for owning my hate of the vacuum - which of course links directly to my hate of carpet - and it would be my hope I'd get to wear some of my new bathing suits but, for now, let's not put the jet in front of the vacuum cleaner. Because I have a dog, I have to vacuum. A lot. And because I like anything that professes to be superior, I'm now obsessed with getting a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Specifically the one called "Animal."

Incidentally, "Animal" was always my favorite muppet, so I take that as a sign I should have this vacuum cleaner. Maybe I'll read some reviews. Maybe I'll try Freecycle. Maybe I'll sell an organ. I think the TRUTH as we know it, Wonder Woman, is I will have a new vacuum cleaner. Because life is too short for my inferior Eureka. If' I'm going to vacuum, I want to create a tornado of suction capable of sucking chrome off a trailer hitch. End of story.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Black Warrior

2010-04-28T06:49:00.000-05:00

It was 43 degrees when I took Maddie outside at 6:15 a.m. I could see steam rising from the river as the sun made its debut, and decided to return inside for my camera to see if I could capture this in an image. Not surprisingly, the rowing team was out practicing, so while I got lucky with subject matter I only had a few moments to setup and press the shutter: they move surprisingly fast.

Nice way to wake up, huh? This is why I continue to assert that if my apartment were a condo, I'd buy it in a heartbeat. I love the setting and I am clearly very sensitive to my surroundings!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Happy Times

2010-04-27T07:12:00.000-05:00

The 2010 Rolex Kentucky Three-Day Event has come and gone. It was the 12th year in a row I've attended: each year with one of my best friends Shannon-na-nana-na or, as she is sometimes also called, "Theresa." The photograph is of use watching the dressage on Friday afternoon. I thought it would be funny to attempt to capture Ollie Townend in the ring as he did his dressage test on Ashdale Cruise Master. Squint hard down by "A" (or the white tent for all of you non-dressage-ring readers) and you'll see him doing his thang.

This year we lost one of the Janes but picked up another, so I still had 2/3 Jane representation (AND learned what a co-efficient meant in simple terms, thanks Jane!) and I couldn't have been happier. I am blessed to say my life is good every day, but it's even better when I'm around horses and my horsey friends.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Cool Guy

2010-04-20T06:56:00.000-05:00

I was all set to tackle the world of app development because, like my desire to be the Rat King in The Nutcracker even though a.) I'm nearly 39 and b.) I've never danced a ballet step in my life and c.) I've never even seen The Nutcracker, I never let lack of knowledge or skill deter me in my pursuit of things I think have potential.

One of my favorite movies ever is "Clueless," and it suddenly occurred to me that an app reminiscent of Cher's closet organization computerized clothing matching system would quite possibly be the best thing I could ever put on my iPhone. I'm a visual perceiver and tend to respond/learn from shapes, color, and actions. I also think an app like this could totally ROCK for packing, and completely eclipse "Packing List," an app I purchased before traveling to England last year. It's a list, so of course it lacks any visual texture and, as such, I perceive it as useless. I mean really, app developer, who doesn't think to pack a razor and deodorant? (Jared Leto notwithstanding.)

So I've been all excited and even made a contact with someone who is developing an app and offered to connect me with his development team in India. I mentioned this at the pool on Sunday and of course one of the children said, "There's already an app for that. It's called Cool Guy." I wasn't really that surprised since the whole "App for everything," catchphrase is based on a heightened reality and so I've downloaded (it's even free) and am going to give it a spin. It won't spin outfits like All Recipes, or Cher in "Clueless," but it's a lot farther than I'd have likely gotten. NOTE: I don't fail at everything I think is cool. I have been practicing my arabesque. But if I've learned anything it's that we must pick and choose our battles.

Anyone have experience or opinions regarding this app?

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Panorama

2010-04-15T06:36:00.000-05:00

I have recently discovered the awesome of my panoramic setting on my camera. Because it is The Robby Way (tm), it's only taken 2 years but hey, what matters is that I now know.

Here are a few I've snapped since March.

The first 2 are at my cousin's amazing place in Hudsonville, Mississippi, on the Ides of March. That's as much as I can say. It's a top secret location, as we plot to rule the world here.

Obviously you have to be careful in small spaces or else you get a fish-eye effect, a'la the pilates studio (3).

Mountaintops make for good panorama. Deer Valley Resort, Park City, Utah (4).

And nothing says "Welcome Summer" like a pontoon boat on the Alabama River (5).

Little Boos

2010-04-14T07:09:00.000-05:00

I would be lying if I said I didn't think my nieces and nephews and 2 cousins, once removed, are the cutest kids on the planet. They are. L-to-R: Josie (niece, my sister's daughter), Megan (cousin, daughter of Jeff and Shonda), Megan's brother Nathan (he's like a ride at Disney World), and Tyler (nephew, my brother's son). Not pictured is Cydney, my sister's oldest daughter who is 14 and into driving the truck around the campground.

I was fortunate in April to get to spend 2 weekends with them camping down in Wilcox County. I know it seems cliche but seriously, they really do grow up right before your eyes. Thankfully they're doing it right before mine.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Robby Recycles

2010-04-13T07:03:00.001-05:00

It's no big secret I've been recycling for ~~decades~~years. And because I'm Robby, this means I continue to seek the perfect recycling station solution. When I lived in Little Rock and owned a home, it was quite simple: put recycling items in the provided-by-city-utility receptacle in garage. Place at curb on designated day.

Because I live in an apartment (which we're saying goodbye to next year and, gulp, doing the big boy thing and purchasing a home), and in a city where recycling works a bit differently - there are these big trailers with compartments located around town where you can place your items - I have to be strategic and segregate my recyclables. This, of course, requires a system.

Robby lives for a system.

Or, I should say, Robby lives for the pursuit of the perfect system.

Last summer I purchased these mesh laundry hampers - the sort I like to call "voila!" because they fold down to a circle and you flick them open with your hand to produce a hamper: brilliant - that were sectioned and, to be honest, they worked fine. I could just grab the handles, place in my car, and go. However, it had to live on the floor of my kitchen and I was always having to move it and, if you know me, you know I have a hard time with things being out of place. I am spending 30 minutes a day attempting to edit my life and, as such, have gotten comfortable with things being disheveled because I know in the end THE SYSTEM is going to be amazing, but honestly, life is too short for a mesh laundry basket on your kitchen floor.

So I'm workshopping this representative system: maize baskets ($5 each, Wal-Mart) with recycle bags inside atop my kitchen cabinets. Sure, I have to get a small ladder out each time I want to fill them, but that's OK. It's exercise. And who doesn't like standing up tall, peering down on his kingdom, making proclamations and judging the underlings (Maddie)? These 3 baskets are designated for paper, metal/aluminum cans, and plastic. I retained a different receptacle, that matches somewhat in its lime green plasticness, for cardboard, which I find I actually amass most.

We shall see how long this system lasts. Already I feel better knowing things are more concealed and orderly, but I do recognize it's not the most efficient way. I know if I cleared the baker's rack of display objet I could pull off the same idea in a more easy-to-access schematic, but let's just take it 30 minutes at a time.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

You Know Me Better

2010-04-07T06:31:00.000-05:00

In the words of my infamous Facebook wife, the legendary Miss Laura-Catherine Sheffield ... I DIE! Roison Murphy is amaze and herney, this here my JAM!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Mi Carro

2010-04-05T07:15:00.001-05:00

8 out of 10 respondents in a recent survey said they'd rather spike their Cosmopolitan with Drano than take financial advice from me. True story. And who can blame them, really? To loosely quote someone I never met but whose words are the stuff of legend (as shared with me by my cousin), "There is no budget I cannot live beyond."

But for some reason, that isn't the case when it comes to my whip. Years ago I had a trusted mentor who was an accountant (but not the typical kind - she was gorgeous and soulful and would get drunkie at office holiday parties and sing on the piano a'la "Fabulous Baker Boys," ... probably why I listened to her) who said, "You should never finance a vehicle for more than 36 months." This advice was probably given in 1993. Apparently it still holds true.

Have I financed a vehicle for longer than 36 months? Yes. I was working on 48 months for Cracker, my beloved Ford F250 that I sold in 2007 to my friend in North Carolina. In a moment of rare clarity, I applied all of the equity I had in the vehicle to a 50% down payment on Bonsai, my 2007 Honda Fit, and financed the balance for 36 months. Last week Bonsai officially became mine. This is not an Earth-shattering savings, I should note. In fact, the vehicle has been super-affordable to own and operate. Even during the gas price gouging of Ought 8, I was paying $36 to fill his little 9 gallon tank. And I could drive to and from Atlanta (3 hours) on that.

It does, however, remind me of another financing scenario we've all been subjected to over the past few years: the housing/mortgage downfall which is largely blamed for the global economic crisis. Living large isn't a sustainable practice. It's a great ego/personality rush and do I think there are times when it's totally appropriate to pop a cork on a $100 bottle of Dom Perignon even though you should be saving for Christmas gifts? ABSOLUTELY. Life is short, you understand. But it's about balance. And it's easier to justify an occasional nicety when the necessities are kept in relative, affordable check.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Skidaddle

2010-03-29T06:57:00.000-05:00

I still can't believe it all worked out.

I hadn't been skiing since 2007, when we visited the legendary Le Broussard in Whitefish, Montana. Having only learned to ski in 2005, I've had the good fortune to also ski in New Mexico, and Park City, Utah. It had become an annual occasion with my friends Mark and Bill until my pilates education became a timing barrier, so I was thankful to be at an accomplished place with that so 2010 could be about returning to the slopes. In all honesty, I have acquired an appropriate amount of ski garb and I refuse NOT to wear it.

Initially I had planned a Valentine's Day return to Montana but several challenges presented as the year progressed: a fund-raising event in town I needed to support, as well as extreme airfare for Mark and Bill (I'd redeemed a frequent flyer ticket). As the year culminated, my friend Erin, who had hosted us in Park City in 2006, purchased her first home there, and we decided to see it in person.

During my hiatus from skiing, Mark and Bill have continued an annual trip or, as I like to call it, ski-cheating. They've skiied Breckenridge, Colorado, as well as Park City again last year. We like Park City and Deer Valley, so it's an easy decision to return there, even moreso now that we've had our celebrity brush with Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick at the Empire Mountain Lounge at Deer Valley Resort.

Bill has become quite accomplished at attacking the blue slopes whereas I prefer a blue-green combination. This wasn't a problem, per se, until Saturday when Picabo Native Erin joined us and I decided to ski down a green trail to meet them at a lift and, as it turned out, that trail didn't terminate at the desired point. This left me alone to navigate my own personal 2-hour Odyssey and I've never been so happy as I was when I saw Bill skiing below me on the lift, oblivious to my perch 100 feet above ground. We finished the day skiing some really great trails down to a hearty lunch, and added greatly to our ski repertoire: 1.5 days at Deer Valley, 1 full day (scalped ticket, thank you Mitchell family) at Park City, quality time with Miss Erin and her precious canine Addie, apres ski at various locales, and sleeping until we felt like waking ... I miss it already!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Renewed Zest

2010-03-16T07:08:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday something peculiar happened. I suddenly lost my DSL connection a la casa. Since it's been as steady as this hair that grows out of the top of my right ear EVEN THOUGH I PLUCK THE SONOFABITCH WEEKLY I was rightfully concerned and equally as dreadful. Anytime there is an issue which prompts phoning a customer service center there is almost always a requirement or request for The Numbers. We hates The Numbers. Give us 30 hairy ears over recitation of account and password and IP settings any day ... I don't know them, I don't care to know them, and only when fully taxed will I relent and produce them. Since I only keep a telephone number for my DSL, I don't know it and have to look it up in the phone book maybe once each year. Similarly, I don't use the associated email account and am fairly sure I established the password in 2006. Are you feeling my pain yet?

Fortunately the woman at ATT was fantastic and made all of these attempts to check the line, then she reset my password to something I will remember. This made the whole "Still not working" thing slightly more palatable. So she sent out a tech, who actually called to let me know he was en route, meaning I didn't have to sit around and wait from 8 - 12. Long story short, he found nothing wrong, DSL still didn't work, so I had to call again on Friday and schedule another service for yesterday. I was away for the weekend so this wasn't a huge deal but I was really stoked yesterday when he finally fixed the issue (he'd missed a splice on his first visit) then setup my new wireless modem.

For anyone who has ever visited me and asked, casually, "Do you have Wi-Fi?" only to hear crickets chirping immediately followed by "Check out these new shoes I just got," you may now bring your little laptop or device or whatevz and feel the love of my wirelessness, promptly named RBJ_Empire. That's right, Empire.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Downtime II

2010-03-15T22:44:00.001-05:00

Good Lord. I had my Blogger contact incorrectly saved in my iPhone
contacts. No wonder this never posted. And when it did, I deleted the
text! Let's try this again, shall we?

Downtime

2010-03-15T22:31:00.001-05:00

Past. Present. Future.

2010-03-04T07:13:00.001-06:00

In 2001 I sent my mare, Willow Bay, a thoroughbred by Count Eric (Riverman) and out of a Tudor Minstrel-bred mare (that's her jumping up the bank at Las Colinas Horse Trials in Irving, Texas, ca. 1999), to Canada to be bred to champion Canadian performance sire A Fine Romance. Long story short, she stayed in Canada for a year, had her gorgeous healthy foal, then promptly colicked and had to be euthanized five days later leaving behind the orphan, Tiamo. Obviously this was a sad, tragic time and many people came together to ensure his survival. I was able to see him when he was about 5 weeks old and then again the next year before bringing him down to the States.

I sold him in February 2005 to an amazing owner and rider in Virginia, and he was started as a 4 year-old in 2006 and has been competed by professional three-day event rider Allison Springer. He's a lovely, fancy, amazing horse and has grown up to be exactly what I envisioned when I sent Willow away. He has been sold this week to a young lady and she's super excited to have such a nice horse to teach her about "the upper levels." Selfishly, I'm even more excited because, guess what, she lives in Memphis! That means he'll be nearby(ish) and hopefully I'll be able to see him regularly.

Congratulations to Kristen, and a huge Thank You to so many, many people who supported me and Tiamo: Gail Rogers, Evan Haller, Sue Beard, Leslie Carter, Kim Gale, Kate Byron, Kaiti Saunders, Allison Springer ... and a long lengthy list I could continue typing but am sure I will forget names and so shall stop here.

To Susan Burney, who is watching from the next dimension, you did well when you plucked the mare out of a pasture in Hot Springs because you had a coincidental breeding to use and needed ovaries and a uterus! Your actions changed my life and I will never forget it.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Something's Coming Over Me ...

2010-03-01T07:26:00.000-06:00

I get my ability to stay out dancing all night from my father, apparently. That's him in the photograph this weekend in Mobile at my sister's surprise 20th Wedding Anniversary party, thrown for her by my brother-in-law. She was completely surprised, it was a fantastic party and I think everyone involved in executing it is so relieved to have it sewn up and put to bed. It's hard to keep a secret from someone you love, but well worth it in a situation like this. And now we return to our regularly scheduled lives ... for now!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Black History Month

2010-02-22T06:52:00.000-06:00

Celebrate diversity! That's what I say. Make an effort to know more about people - that's what it's all about over here in Robbyville. One of the things I enjoy in my career as a public relations practitioner is keeping the message going: so many times in a campaign the messaging peaks early and by the end it's often watered down or lost in the shuffle. This is my effort to keep an important message vivid and awake. Visit the national Black History Month website and do some reading, and hopefully acquire some new learning.

I hate to be the cliche (and for all my Tuscaloosa kids that reference is actually double entendre ... or is it?) because I know many people view music as a lesser contribution, but music and soul are two different things. When they intersect, it's magic. Call her a singer, or call her a shamen, either way I think the legendary Angie Stone is a fine representative for Black History Month.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

T E A S E R

2010-02-19T07:06:00.000-06:00

What I really need is a Macbook. So of course that means I've bought a STOTT PILATES spring wall for la hacienda instead. It's the Robby way. Technological superiority or Madonna arms? Such a no-brainer.

I am excited about its arrival as there are tons of exercises we (and by we I mean I) can accomplish in a very small amount of space. One of the things I love about pilates, and what this journey continues to teach me, is that exercise isn't necessarily more effective if it's timebound. "I worked out for 3 hours" doesn't mean jack if you're not doing it correctly and, if you are, I would immediately suspect you're over-doing it.

Cliche though it seems, I have learned much from watching my dog, as well as my horses. Each morning Maddie wakes up and does a couple of really nice Down Dogs, as well as a few Up Dogs. Then she sleeps for a few more hours. When she wakes up, same thing again. Other than wishing I could sleep for 22 hours each day, I think the learning portion is that maintaining (and improving) our physical functioning abilities is an ongoing practice throughout our day. Humans evolved to a superior level of functioning through necessity, but modernization has removed opportunities to move and condition the body in the manner in which it is intended.

Check out Ellie Herman, who invented the pilates spring wall, doing this amazing Teaser/Jackknife combo on YouTube. If I ever gain this level of control (or flat belly!) I will add one as well.

Fun Little Facts

2010-02-16T07:07:00.000-06:00

Happy Mardi Gras! I thought this was a fun page to read and am recommending it to everyone as a refresher course. Enjoy today if you're reveling - weather appears to be fantastic - and if you're not, you will likely feel much better tomorrow!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Seedling Evolution

2010-02-11T07:15:00.000-06:00

I mentioned awhile back that I'm attempting to grow spinach this cold weather season. But because I can never go shopping for just one item (who buys just 1 pair of pants?) I am also attempting to grow carrots. This is what my friend Ian refers to as "bumping it up a notch."

The good news is, I've taken a positive first step. I have actually planted seeds. This year I'm not using those magic pellet seed starters because even though they are mesmerizing to watch grow into dirt wads when you add the warm water (oooohhhhhh, grow-y) they sort of choke the roots of your seedlings. At least that's how it happened to me last year. Instead, I've been saving a few egg cartons and am finding them to be very effective with a regular soil medium.

The part I don't like is deciding which little sprouts can live, and which ones must take one for the team. It's like little plant abortion decisions and it just makes me want to lie down catatonic once I concede. But for every ending there is a beginning, and I will remember you, little baby sproutlings, and thank you for at least showing up for the audition, when I am eating your big brother/sister.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

News Headlines - Chaplain of the Year to pray in Congress : Townhall.com

2010-02-09T06:45:00.000-06:00

Congratulations to my cousin Endel Lee. I have my DVR set, and am planning to watch his prayer before Congress live today during lunch. I sent him a congratulatory email last week and encouraged him, if he could, to work in a shout-0ut. In his authentically humble-yet-witty response, he replied he was under a word-count, but maybe next time.

News Headlines - Chaplain of the Year to pray in Congress : Townhall.com

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

With The Taste Of A Poison Paradise

2010-02-05T06:42:00.000-06:00

As we'd say down South, "Well shit fire to save matches." It's been an extremely busy week for me and as it turns out, it's seemingly the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes when the task list hits a feverish pitch, I find myself needing to do something I can complete and feel good about. This week, that has been oven cleaning.

I would like to state, for the record, that this week was the first time in my 38.5 years that I have ever cleaned an oven. Although I love to cook, and have baked all sorts of stuff over the years, apparently I've either a.) been really clean about it b.) had someone to clean it for me or c.) had a self-cleaning oven. But a few weeks ago when I was baking Amish Friendship Bread, the loaf runneth over and made friends with the electric element at the bottom of the stove. I will be really honest when I say I had hoped eventually it would just bake off. Which, for the most part, it did, but I suppose it's the reason you have ashes of loved ones after cremation - some of that stuff just doesn't burn. And so it goes that my stove was a crematorium for this densely-baked confection and just as fate would have it, my mom saw it over Christmas.

"Ooooh," she squeaked in her alarm voice, "Boy you need to clean this oven."

One of the great things I'm experiencing in my evolution is the ability to call a spade a spade without feeling like it needs a supporting backstory. So I just said, "Yeah, you're right."

Last night was The Night, and though I knew it was a job for Easy-Off, I won't go that route again because I did awaken super congested and a little headache-y. I baked more bread first, then did the spray down, and this morning it all wiped clean as a cucumber. (I think that's supposed to be "cool as a cucumber" but I'm utilizing my poetic license because, think about it, cucumbers are often really clean.)

In fact, now that it's clean, and before I bake again, I think I'll do something non-toxic to remove any remaining chemical residue. In this scenario I'm fairly sure it will just be a rinse with lightly diluted white vinegar. And now that I'm no longer an oven cleaning virgin, I think I might perform this little task more often. In just 20 minutes I felt like I'd achieved something significant.

I'm gonna go call mama.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Baker Baker

2010-01-29T07:16:00.000-06:00

Baker Baker
Baking a cake
Make me a day
Make me whole again
And I wonder
What's in a day
What's in your cake this time

Even those are Tori Amos lyrics I promise this blog isn't going to make you want to slit your wrists. Why? Because it's about baking! And who doesn't love some flour-y sugar-y deliciousness on an icky winter day? I should stop right here and say that by default, I'm not a baker. I don't really have the patience for it, the counter space for it, and certainly NOT the caloric discretion for it. And yet for years - let's say 15 - I've needed nothing more than I've needed a pastry blender.

If you have ever had to cut cold butter into flour when baking, using two knives like the ginzu guy at hibachi, you too know that it is a rather suckdiggity experience. Mostly because, for me, I'm a precision guy. I want all of the little butter crumbs to be exactly the same size and I don't want to run the risk of one muffin being more buttery than the other (waitforit, waitforit ... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!) and so, the other day, I took this yearning bull by the horns and slung my butt into Bed, Bath and Beyond and emerged with an Oxo Good Grips Pastry Cutter in hand.

Armed with my 4-cup Pyrex measuring pitcher (acquired a few months back), and a new silicon baking mat, let's just say there will be no chipped teeth on this summer's poolside confections because I am completely bumping it up a notch with my baking skills. Recognize!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

GUM (Gum, Gum)

2010-01-27T07:19:00.001-06:00

If anything, THE Robby Johnson is aggressive. At times, over-aggressive. This works in my favor when, let's say, I'm swinging through vines in the upper canopy of a Central American jungle as I bring my special blend of ninja ass whoopin' to unsuspecting guerrilla militants traveling below on foot. Trust me, they never even knew what hit them. But I gotta say, over-aggression isn't so good when it comes to brushing your teeth. And thusly I am a victim of receding gums. Please don't judge me.

If you live in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and Dr. Stan Turnipseed isn't your dentist and Crystal isn't your hygienist, it means you don't matter. After yesterday's routine cleaning, I feel like I have failed my gums and for that, I'm really, really sorry. Too much of a good thing. Le sigh.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Like A Prayer

2010-01-25T20:09:00.000-06:00

I'm so thankful to everyone - all 2 of you - who have inquired as to why my blog has become somewhat, erm, slower. No no no, astute observation, one with merit ... the simple truth is, I've been taking my own "30 Over 30" advice and unfortunately, my writing time has suffered as a result. In all honesty, I think it will return to a more normally scheduled frequency as the daylight continues to grow longer. I am a light-sensitive sleeper meaning, if it's light outside I usually have difficulty sleeping. But if it's dark? All bets are off. Lady Gaga might like to dance in the dark, but homeboy like to sleep in it!

The good news is I've been to the gym 13 times already in January. Mostly for cardio but also for different varied exercise/strength training workouts too. I typically do some sort of pilates daily, even if it's just 20 minutes with peripheral equipment I have at my house.

I also have 3 appointments tomorrow: dermatologist for a full-body scan, my regular doctor for a checkup, and dentist tomorrow afternoon. I'm taking a "health day" to bang them all out once. If you haven't had a physical examination or been to the dentist in over a year, do something good for yourself and go. Prevention is the best medicine, and it's definitely the way of healthcare in the future.

I had coffee with my esteemed pal Eduardo and his SO on Saturday afternoon, and he grimaced when he described Madonna's performance on Help For Haiti Now. I hadn't seen it, but quickly did and had to text him to politely disagree. For a stripped down, live studio performance I thought this was amazing. I saw her on the "Sticky and Sweet" tour in late 2008 and this was, to me, the highlight of that entire set. Hard to believe the song is now 21.5 years old, but still so fantastic. I do think she could lay off the plastic surgery face because, let's face it, she's looking a bit like that ventriliquist's puppet "Madame," but hey, she's still Madonna.

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with the people of Haiti.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Freeze Frame

2010-01-19T07:26:00.000-06:00

It's not so bad to be inside the box, as long as the resident play things entertain and inspire. (Deep thoughts by Robby Johnson, Vol. IV.XII.)

And when things become formulaic, they start to look formulaic. (Formula + Formula = Formula.) That's what a drag queen might describe as "tired." When something is tired it's predictable, not really memorable, and it lacks the creative package that entices and, essentially, it stops telling a story.

We commonly see this in television programming, music, and many other facets of the visual arts. One, in particular, I find static is the mystical, magical, wedding. Fortunately for brides and grooms in central Alabama and other parts of the Southeast, there's Emanuel Neiconi. He's from Romania, y'all, and that means he's got them European ideas and influences, all refined-like. OK, I'm only having a bit of fun with colloquialism, but the simple truth is Emanuel has an amazing ability to capture moments and images that tell a story, reflect a celebration, and are unique and timeless in their presentation.

I think this is what a drag queen might call "flawless."

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Basket Case

2010-01-18T07:36:00.000-06:00

I didn't know the origin of the derogatory description "basket case." I just knew it meant cray-cray. But now that we're living in the future, and we have access to a ridiculous amount of information, there's really no reason NOT to know anything. The challenge, I think, is recognizing an opportunity to learn - not just pulling information when it's a critical requirement. As a writer, I'm always thirsty for an enhanced vocabulary. Sure, it's not Pythagorean Theorem or anything those math-y sorts know and get paid mad cash to own, but in a battle of words I will see your "gross" and raise you a "macabre," then laugh all the way to the bank.

Wow, I love how this happens. I fully intended to write about my new obsession with organizing my life by a.) purging a bunch of stuff I no longer use or need then b.) containing the previously-uncontained in baskets. Apparently I needed to take that little pit stop at Think Smart first. Thanks for your patience. Currently my living space isn't very pretty. I try to keep everything neat and orderly, but my system has become somewhat disheveled and is bordering on "skinny fat."

When the very process of attempting to tidy the laundry room by just reorganizing a shelf turns into 6 hours of massive purge and overhaul, you have to just ride out what you know to be a positive ending. In my work environment, we might call these efforts "value-adding." Last weekend it was said laundry room. This weekend it included my breeze storage closet that is 4' x 4' and may've reminded you of Fred Flinstone's closet, and my personal bedroom closet. A massive wardrobe edit has ensued, and I have completely rearranged my closet to be more efficient. Hooray!

The Final Frontier is a bunch of paper/documentation that may or may not be relevant. I have to go through several big storage bins to make these decisions. Whatever "stays," is getting scanned and stored to disk, then shredded. While I do anticipate many more hours of dedicated effort, I am certain the ends will justify the means. This is, after all, what January is for. Right?

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Carpenter's Son

2010-01-14T07:20:00.001-06:00

For about a year I've been contemplating some sort of platform bed for my home office/workout room/guest room space. When I initially added the bed, after selling my elliptical machine (sorry Brian Arnold, I will never forget our 4-hour assembly in the barn apartment in Little Rock!), it was a simple bed frame which offered no storage whatsoever; the fact is the room is quite small and I have a bunch of stuff!

Browses through IKEA and the like, of course, yielded quite a few options, but none were elevated, so I enlisted the assistance of mi padre. Now, one thing I should say is that I am my father's son in many ways (not just sharing his name), and we both love to work with wood. In fact, I have watched marathon episodes of "Yankee Workshop" more cold Saturdays than I can count and always think, "If I just had $500,000 worth of laser equipment and a serious education, I could be a professional carpenter." Granted, my father's skills are pretty impressive. Mine? Not so much. It's sort of like my attempts at sewing. I have more vision, but am not patient enough for the details.

Daddy agreed to build me the platform as a Christmas gift, using Southern Yellow Pine (of course!), and though he pushed back several times when I said I wanted a full 24" of clearance beneath it for all of the exercise stuff, he acquiesed. And though it might seem a bit Transformer-meets-funeral-pyre, I love love love it. Right now it works in function (I slept on it the night my parents brought it up as, of course, they slept in my bed) and, for me, form. The good news is that it can be reduced from the legs when I get into a permanent residential situation. For now, I'm going to add a few more baskets for stuff and fluff it up as much as possible.

I love it for lots of reasons: mostly because my dad built it for me. In giving me a more efficient space for storing my workout stuff I have a.) begun using it more and b.) now have an impetus for continuing my office/life organizational edit. 2010 is the year of reduction, spurned on by the addition of 24"!

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Hazy Shade Of Winter

2010-01-07T07:01:00.000-06:00

It's no big secret I luh me some sunset. Like, I get all inspired by the moment, the beauty, and for some reason it instills a sense of peace in me that I find reassuring. When I drove over the bridge last night the sunset down the river was stunning. I nearly stopped my car in the midst of 5:00 traffic just to look at it. (I didn't of course because that would've sucked.) I did, however, rush home, grabbed my camera, and went out alongside the river with Maddie. It was so cold I could only stay for a minute, but I'm really glad I did.

Strong To The Finish

2010-01-05T07:11:00.000-06:00

I love going home for an extended period of time because I return saying things like, "Lord have mercy," and a host of other really authentic Southern euphemisms. The Robby In My Head (RIMH) doesn't sound like he's from the South but apparently Reality Robby does and sometimes I actually hear him speak and am a bit astonished. Since I mimic a lot of what my mother (and father) say, it actually is comforting because not only does it remind me of them, but it reminds me they're repeating what they learned as well so it makes me feel connected to my grandparents, their parents, and the rest of the chain.

I had a fabulous holiday season. That's pretty much all I can say about it. I got to visit with people I love very much and at this point in my life, that's what it's about. Lately my mom has been white hot when it comes to ideas (even moreso than normal) and while she and my dad visited me overnight last week, she completely "re-did" my kitchen for me at a functional concept level and I am hoping she'll come back to help me execute. I love it when things work more efficiently, and myself have always been able to implement these types of ideas, but it was special to realize for the first time that I'd actually inherited that ability.

The other thing she suggested later in the weekend, at her house, was planting spinach and winter greens in my patio containers. I think this is the best idea ever and am already taking steps to make this a reality.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

I N V E R T

2009-12-22T07:13:00.000-06:00

My new obsession is inversion. I love hanging upside down, particularly off the Cadillac at the pilates studio, and especially when I can fully release and stretch the TFL and iliopsoas. Hip pain be gone! Adding the abdominal work (the curls) from an inverted, released position is also phenomenal: "grippy hips" get in the way of engaging the abdominals in many upright positions.

I have a decline bench at home which, when I pull it from behind the guest bed, introduces this idea somewhat effectively. I also hang from the fuzzy straps, as mentioned, and am on the precipice of ordering some gravity boots, though I'm not sure I actually can use them on my pull-up bar at home due to a space limitation between top of the bar and door frame. So, of course, I've begun monkeying with my gymnastic training rings and actually hung from them for a brief period last night with my knees flexed. Not the safest thing to do with only your Jack Russell waiting down below (to lick your face, of course, once you're completely inverted), but not to worry, I'm a trained professional and don't take unsafe risks. Plus, I totally had my iPhone down there in case I needed to call out a MayDay.

I am doing somewhat OK on my goal for December. Water has been my most successful area, with cardio and sleeping earlier running about 30% below expectation. Always room to improve but hey, acceptance is the first step to recovery, right?

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Kinderpunsch

2009-12-17T07:04:00.000-06:00

I guess 2005 was the year I began contributing to my family's highly orchestrated Christmas celebration in my own "seat." I had the idea to make a really big batch of sangria, which was enhanced greatly by the homegrown lemons my aunt's tree produces in its semi-protected and highly-nitrous location ... the former chicken coop. Needless to say, Sangria Christmas was an instant hit. Warmed by the wood stove on my parents' enclosed porch, it was an ideal catalyst for sharing tales and fond memories. Last year I introduced Bourbon Milk Punch on Christmas Eve. But instead of hearing those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling too, MSJ, my brother's girlfriend and I were singing AC/DC over the fabulous crawfish bread she'd made. And that was only 1/2 way into one highball. And for the record, one is all we had!

This year, I'm introducing Kinderpunsch.

I had a small fete last weekend and thought I'd have a go with an adapted version. It was a big hit, and I have a little left in my refrigerator that I may warm up this weekend. I augmented to make it appropriately "adult," and did so under the auspices of being pleasantly relaxed and content, not Back In Black. I used Rhine wine (white) because a.) it was really cheap and b.) it sounded German.

I'm including the standard recipe below, and will just comment on my adaptation here. Using my conversion app on my iPhone (best.thing.ever for this child left behind), I doubled the recipe, using 3 cups apple juice and 3 cups wine. It was perfect, easy, and very, very Christmas-y without the toxic backlash.

Ingredients

    * 1 cup water
    * 2/3 cup white sugar
    * 2 pinches ground cloves
    * 1 cinnamon stick
    * 3 cups apple juice
    * 1 lemon, sliced

Directions

   1. In a 3 quart saucepan, bring water, sugar, cloves and cinnamon to boil.
   2. Stir in juice and heat through. Do not boil. Take spices out and pour over lemon slices in serving bowl. Serve warm.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Transitions

2009-12-15T07:12:00.000-06:00

I quite enjoy the moments I'm able to bridge ambition and anxiety with action. In my experience these are the moments when we are capable of change and growth because they combine the critical component of self-motivation with a baseline of confidence which, in turn, allows us to take a risk.

Sometimes these moments, for me, can be as abstract as vacuuming the baseboards or as concrete as expressing an emotional feeling or need, but the more I practice the objective process of investing energy in the litany of items I deem important, the more I am rewarded with a sense of contentment. Whether or not the outcome meets the expectation I had when I contributed the input, there's applied learning to be recognized and honored, and I think that adds dimension to my person.

Often I see things that are beautiful and wish I could capture the moment in a photograph. And surprisingly (to me, at least) there are times when I'm selfish about those moments and choose to file the snapshot mentally. My iPhone has actually made it much easier for me to retain inspirational moments. I snapped this picture on the river the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I love the amber light of late afternoon and the slick surface of the river.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Tail Mail Female

2009-12-07T07:13:00.001-06:00

One of the most complicated challenges to an abstract right-brain like mine can be - depending on the day and how many mimosas you had the day prior - solving any sort of mechanical/functional dilemma.

And thus begins my tale of Christmas tree lights and how, at the end of an amazing decorating journey I realized nothing would remedy an ill-executed stringing gaffe except completely removing all ornaments and lights and re-stringing.

It all began with my angel tree-topper, oh she of Glenda The Witch Of The North inspiration who apparently has a dual-adapter under her form (she's versatile, it would seem), allowing her to be plugged into the regular light string and, at show time, ensuring her role as the star. What I didn't realize was that my first string of lights, the white bubble LED string, has only a female end and a male end. I strung male at the top (makes sense to me) and female at the bottom, then added another string of big beaded multi-colored LED lights, added all of my ornaments and then decided to give it a test run.

That's when I realized no amount of adapters or careful replugging would allow my female end at the bottom of the tree to plug into the wall outlet and so, at 9:00 p.m., I resolved myself to the fact that I'd have to strip and represent. It's OK though. I did a 6-foot tree this year which works perfectly on the table in front of my river-facing picture window. It's not available in pre-lighted (at least not for $20 like I paid for this version!) and while I could've been bitter about it, I chose to view it as a positive opportunity to decorate not once but twice in a single holiday season.

I am doing OK on my goal/inspiration list. Water? Check. Sleep? Halfway there. Cardio? Eh. But I did watch "Meet Me In St. Louis" last night with friends: it wasn't filmed in the 1930's (40's) but it's close enough and I also accepted an invitation to see Lady Gaga in New Orleans with some super-cool homeys on December 27.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

30 Something, Expanded

2009-12-02T06:22:00.000-06:00

As mentioned on Monday, I am adding dimension to December in a program I call 30 over 30. What can I do in 30 minutes over 30 days to make a difference in my life? Initially I conceived it as a way to combat the New Year Resolutions that are certain to begin popping up toward the end of the month. I don't know why they bother me so much: I think it's the added pressure of agreeing to something you know you may not achieve, or may not want to achieve. I believe it's possible to integrate a new behavior by consciously practicing it for 30 days, and I think there's a sense of fun and adventure in making a pact with yourself to improve whether it's gaining a new skill or knowledge, or eradicating that which is self-destructive.

I personally am committing to 30 minutes of cardio activity each day, drinking 30% more water each day, and going to bed 30 minutes earlier each day. At a surface level, these goals are pretty self-involved. Everything I'm doing seems to be focused exclusively on my health and well-being. The older I've gotten and the more people have come to depend on me, the more I realize this is actually a responsibility not only to myself, but also to others. Affecting change and attempting to contribute to make my community, and hopefully my world, better is important to me. As I continue to observe myself and others, I am disappointed by the deflective thoughts and subsequent non-actions to which we are all privy: "I don't have enough time," "Nothing I say matters," or "I really just don't care." It's a bubble of self-absorption that must be burst. It is the "Me" mentality that has contributed so greatly to the economic peril we have experienced the past 2 years, the deplorable state of our environment, and quite possibly the ultimate demise of our species and planet.

Is there a time and place to bask in the glow of friendship and benefit from complete mental and emotional decompression? Absolutely. Life is about balance. And maybe that's where I'm finding myself and seeing patterns in others - out of balance and tipping to the ineffective side. That can be changed. Step 1 is recognizing the need. Step 2 is figuring out how.

All too often we set goals which we cannot achieve. And it's an established fact that setting achievable goals - and achieving them - will strengthen our internal mechanism to continue improving and accomplishing. Categorically speaking, I think everyone in America probably has 30 minutes a day for 30 days to do something that will improve themselves and have a positive, sustainable impact on those around them. I challenged myself to write a list of 30 ideas and thought I'd share them here. I'd love to hear your thoughts as well.

Review your priority list daily. Spend 30 minutes at the start of each day organizing your list of priorities and adapt behaviors that allow you to accomplish them.
Breathe deeply 30 times each day (break into 10 breath sessions - 10 at 8 a.m., 10 at noon, and 10 at 5 p.m. if you want). Thanks Ethan!
Do 30 push-ups per day, maintaining a perfect plank position (You can also spread these over the course of the day).
Study a topic of personal interest for 30 minutes each day: It could be the Bible or other spiritual reference, world news and hot media stories, etc.
Send one personal email (or post card) daily to a person who means something to you. Reference something endearing in 30 words or less. (e.g. "I saw a field of clover yesterday and thought of the time we found the 4-leaf when we were children. It made me smile and I wanted to share.")
Write freestyle for 30 minutes.
Read anything for 30 minutes.
Acknowledge, authentically, one person at your office each day.
Say something nice to yourself at least once each day.
Make a $30 donation to a non-profit organization you believe in. Learn what $30 per month can do to assist others.
Review your regular grocery lists and expenses and challenge yourself to reduce the weekly cost by 30%. Send 30% of that reduction to a world hunger organization. Do the same for your petroleum usage and send the savings to a conservation organization.
Look at a world atlas and pinpoint/prioritize 30 countries you'd like to visit. It doesn't have to even be a country you really want to visit - just do 30 and list a reason why.
Purge your hard drive by 30% over the course of a month. Retain critical data on memory sticks and external drives.
Relax for 30 minutes. Do nothing. Just relax and enjoy your life.
Watch a famous movie you've never seen from the 1930's.
Increase the time you spend smiling and laughing by 30%. Recognize if you're grumpy or gloomy and realize you're the only person who can fix it - maybe you choose a fond memory each day, or you recollect your happiest memory each day.
Say the name of the people you love out loud as you drive along.
Assess and inventory your wardrobe. Could you reduce it by one garment each day? If so, could you donate the clothing to an organization in need?
Volunteer with an organization for half an hour each day. Maybe you can run by and answer the telephone while a staff member takes a break or works on another project.
Listen to 30 minutes of classical music each morning while you're getting ready for work, or prior to falling asleep at night.
Try to understand someone else's perspective - active, objective listening - at least once each day.
Figure out how many dozen cookies can be baked with 30 eggs. Bake that many dozen over the course of a month and run them by your church, your doctor's office, the post office, etc.
Spend half an hour serving food at a soup kitchen. It will change your life forever.
Look at the calendar year for 2010 and plan all but 30% of your time off. You'll make better choices about your travel, and enjoy your "freebies" when an unexpected opportunity presents itself.
Measure the overall square footage of your home. Could you and your family exist in a living space 30% smaller? Of course you could. Figure out how, then reduce your excess in a repurposing campaign. Learn more about www.freecycle.org.
Make a list of things to do/entertainment within 30 miles of your home. Keep it handy for times when you have company, or find yourself bored and in need of an option.
Read a 30 under 30 list and look for common behavior threads that have made these people noteworthy.
Treat someone you know who struggles or aches to a $30 pedicure.
Learn to count to 30 in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese.
Plot a timeline of the next 30 years, including everything you want to accomplish, then reduce it by 30%. Make this your "lifeshot" and get busy living it!

W O R L D A I D S D A Y

2009-12-01T06:45:00.000-06:00

Please take a moment to recognize that today, December 1, 2009, is World AIDS Day. A significant amount of information on HIV/AIDS can be found on the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) website. Read the page, understand the statistics, and recognize how long the fight against HIV/AIDS has been going on (nearing 30 years).

In West Alabama, we'll be recognizing World AIDS Day at this event. Please attend if you can - it really does make a difference.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

30 Over 30

2009-11-30T07:22:00.000-06:00

I've had an idea and, of course, I'm just now developing it so prepare yourself for a stream-of-conciousness December here at the old blogstead. As opposed to resolutions at the New Year, and as a way to combat holiday stress (we're supposed to enjoy this time, just in case you didn't get the memo), I thought, "I'm going to do a few things over the first 30 days of December, consistently." And because life cannot be all about work and rigidity, I've made an accommodation for December 31 when I'm'a what? get my party on.

I'm going to do 30 minutes of cardio over 30 days, drink 30% more water, and go to bed 30 minutes earlier than normal. I'm also contemplating a way to add in my 30 lb. dumb bells, but for the sake of success that may need to be a stretch goal. Those suckers are heavy.

I'll keep an updated blog for 30 days that will chronicle this goal, and am working on an "idea list" to share that may continue to inspire me and that may also inspire others. We'll evaluate at the end of the month to see how it worked. Hopefully it will be fun.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Our Lips Are Sealed

2009-11-25T06:56:00.000-06:00

This year, nearly 30 years later, I'm thankful for the Go Go's and this fantastic song and video, which Belinda Carlisle completely owns. Sorry other ladies, y'all were great backup. But if I'm going to ride around LA in an old school convertible and trespass in a water fountain, I want it to be with the one and only BC.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Wrapper's Delight

2009-11-23T07:25:00.000-06:00

As we know, there really are no shortcuts in life. There are, however, implements, tools, and systems that can make the going a heckuva lot more palatable, and on today's episode of My Reality, Starring Me, we'll examine ways to make holiday wrapping easier, creative and, dare I suggest, even fun. We begin our sojourn at the website of a brand we've all grown up loving: 3M. From Romy & Michelle's assertions of business prowess to VetRap for securing a bandage on a horse's leg, 3M also brings us Scotch tape. I personally don't love wrapping gifts, though I do love presenting very well-wrapped and beautiful gifts, and for many years I struggled on the floor of my bedroom with a classic roll of Scotch tape and a pair of scissors. Inevitably there would be a few dog hairs picked up on the tape despite my best efforts, and despite the precision exhibited by those gift wrap people at stores, my scissors would hit a snag when I tried to zip them across the roll, resulting in semi-jagged edges. Jagged is good for little pills, no so much for gift seams.

A few years back I acquired the wristband pop-up tape and life got a little better. Gone was the need to hold a piece of folded paper with my toe while I used both hands to cut tape (incidentally, like performing maintenance on one's own toenails, sitting in the floor to wrap gifts can also lead to an increased sense of Feeling Fat (tm) and let's face it, no one wants that) but still, I longed for success in the snip-zip-rip sphere. Enter the Gift Wrap Cutter which is new to me this year. It's essentially an Exacto knife, but a little more safe, and as a bonus it includes a ribbon curler on the handle. Eureka! I have also learned that it's best to wrap gifts standing, preferably on a table that's about at hip height, and fairly wide. And while we're at it, go ahead and organize your wrapping items in a container designed specifically for this purpose (or be creative with something you already have or can repurpose). It will make your life easier and you'll not be as grumpy when you're required to wrap a gift.

What's even cooler, I must admit, is this comprehensive How-To Wrap website developed by 3M. It contains a wealth of information on wrapping, and isn't limited just to holiday gifts. Already I'm eager to investigate more of the Japanese section. In years past I have wrapped gifts in plain brown shipping paper (applied learning: use hot glue to secure as tape doesn't really stick) and painted with a washed metallic paint, embellishing with ornaments or even silk flowers, and this year I'm actually crafting holiday gift bags out of fabric. Point being, there are so many cool options out there and focusing on the presentation, for some odd reason, tends to calm the anxiety many of us feel around selection of "the gift."

On a final note, I'm already cheating on my new bitch K-Mart. I have discovered Dollar Tree (again), and the one in West Mobile has a TON of good Christmas stuff - including above-mentioned tape dispenser and refills. For a Child Left Behind where math is concerned, Dollar Tree is my personal shopping salvation. The fact is I can actually count, and I can sometimes do multiplication (and hello, I have in iPhone), so I can sort of manage a budget there.

It's the little things.

Middle TN Pony Club Horse Trials on NBC Today Show November 23

2009-11-18T17:48:00.000-06:00

Just thought I'd share something I saw over on The Chronicle of The Horse bulletin board. I love me some Middle TN Pony Club Horse Trials. I have competed there at least 3 times and been a few others to spectate and hang-out. Percy Warner Park is fantastic and so are the organizers. I am also fairly sure MTPC is the longest consecutively running horse trials in the U.S.

I am setting my dvr and hope you will too!

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Just wanted to give you some advance notice so you can program your video recorders.

The NBC Today Show segment that features Elizabeth Walters' recovery to ride in the Middle TN Horse Trials is now scheduled for Monday, Nov 23.

A film crew from the NBC News Today Show was at the Middle Tennessee Horse Trials in Nashville mid October. They came to profile a Pony Club member, Elizabeth Walters (Peytona PC) who is currently in remission from cancer.

Attending the Middle TN horse trials was one of her goals that she used to stay focused throughout 10 months of treatment at St. Jude's hospital. Elizabeth finished the horse trials in 5th place for the Junior Training
Rider division. (3 of the 12 riders in her division did not finish the cross country). Her cross country was clean, she just had some time penalties. In stadium, she just knocked one rail.

After the stadium round, her mother made a presentation to the coach who took care of her horse for the year of recovery and to thank all the Pony Club members nationwide that came to their aid.

Check out MTPC's new web site design at: www.mtn-ponyclub.org for a listing of current events.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!

Evernote

2009-11-18T07:22:00.000-06:00

One of the things I routinely seek is a system of organization that thinks like me (McCrazy). And while it doesn't always hit the mark, I must say I was thrilled when my uber-talented webmaster tipped me off to Evernote. If you're an iPhone user (and if you're not, you should be), Evernote is the white-hot bomb, and here's why: it syncs between your phone, the web, or a desktop download.

Into this portal of organizational lusciousness one can take a snapshot of, say, a poplar leaf that inspires him, or a neat gift idea for Christmas that he happens to see in May. From there, he might add the images to a folder called "Tree Art," or "Holiday Gift Ideas," and when he circles back to the idea, the inspiration is contained neatly in a tagged folder with tags that makes sense to him.

Browsing YouTube and see instructions on how to execute your Halloween costume? Send your link directly to Evernote via a sharing icon on your desktop, or email it to your Evernote email account and organize it later. There are tons of possibilities and, best of all, it's completely free.

I took my 9 year-old nephew shopping a few weeks ago down in Mobile as he enjoys playing his Nintendo DS games and I wanted him to show me some that he liked. He is at that fun age where he needs and wants everything, and assumes you're so stupid that he can convince you of anything just by the mere power of his suggestion (e.g. We walk past a display of football interview DVDs from ESPN and he stops, and says, "Oh God, I love this movie so much," then looks at me with these big imploring eyes. I'm like, "Right except it's not so much a movie but a TV interview.")

As he showed me the games he likes (including a new Wii machine - hey, he's an opportunist) and I took pictures and tagged them to Evernote I noticed him watching me intensely. I told him what I was doing and he thought it was pretty cool. After we finished we were browsing the electronics department and he brought up the new Transformers DVD and said, "Uhm, Robby, this is the movie I was telling you about." I absentmindedly remarked, "Oh yeah, I think it was on an airplane I was on recently," and kept browsing. A few seconds passed and he said, "Do you need to take a picture of it?"

Behold, the power of suggestion.

Looking Ahead

2009-11-17T07:08:00.000-06:00

Even though it was 75 degrees yesterday, the week prior to Thanksgiving (one of the reasons I love me some Deep South), I was looking ahead. I knew winter would arrive eventually (good morning rain-arrival and frigidity!) and when you keep the sort of calendar I keep, that can only mean one thing: accommodations for Memorial Day at Pensacola Beach.

I have really begun to look forward to this weekend out of the year since moving back to Alabama 3 years ago and having the beach in a relatively close proximity. It's not the same as my life on the coast, where I grew up. Back in those days going to the beach was an integrated part of your life and not so much a destination. My friend Toshi and I would go for the day, get our bronzilla on, then head back to the Mobz for a night of debauchery. Ahhh, fun times.

Now, however, a bit more planning is involved. With my crew of Pensacola Homeys - scattered from South Carolina to Atlanta to Tuscaloosa - we have a fantastic zen that combines more settled adult practices with reach-into-your-bag party boy antics. Since my bag is rapidly depleting and not replenishing (thank God ... I'm becoming party infertile, it's party menopause!) I have taken to a role I quite enjoy - Kitchen Bitch - and ensuring our beach tent is appropriately luxe and equipped for any party foul emergencies. This year my fellow MacGyver friend and I are scheming on how to transport and construct a Cabo-inspired open canopy deck on the beach. That plan will continue to evolve.

Step 1, however, has been secured. Condo is booked, workout plan is amped up, and my favorite part - swimsuit shopping - can commence.

Disclaimer: If you're reading this as a Note on Facebook, it's because my blog - located at www.robbyjohnson.com - feeds directly into my Facebook account. Majikal, right? Point being, if I link a YouTube video or other graphics it may not show up. For your fully-integrated Robby Johnson user experience, visit www.robbyjohnson.com. Let the beat hit 'em, y'all!