Thursday, July 09, 2009

Serial Coon

I see we still got unfinished business.

Why is it you can go on break for 7 months and then show back up with a vengeance, taking not only the seed feeder but a hummingbird feeder too? What - you got the sugar or something? Why you can't just take the shot? Why you gotta steal? Stealing, huh? Well I guess I'm'a hafta beat you like you done stole something.

Look here thug, I got up and ironed yesterday morning. And if you think I wasn't worried I was going to slide straight down that steep hill in my Steve Madden loafers - the ones that are already slicker than cat shit on Congoleum - you are wrong. But I did it to make a point. And I won. Fortunately I didn't step into the hole that clearly is either a burrow for the groundhog or, possibly, a skunk. That did skeer me a little and kicked in my afterburners so I could get up the hill. But I would've walked straight down to the river to reclaim my feeders. I think you know I'm in it to win it.

And when I got up the hill, I set you a little trap. A little trap I like to call high-off-the-ground at the flexible end of the branch. Climb your ass out there now, mutha.

1 comment:

Arkanzin said...

Oooh, what will happen tomorrow? Will Squirrel make an appearance? Will Raccoon dare show his bandit face? Will Robby fall into the river?

Tune in tomorrow to the next episode of "Les Animaux d'Alabama!"