Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Breakdown Here II
Just when I thought I was going to post something all reflective and sentimental and thusly went on a search of YouTube for Julie Robert's big debut song (which my friend Shannon and I love), my ADD takes over and I find this. And it brings it all back into perspective. Comedy rulez!
I went to a World AIDS Day event last night which was quite solemn and stark but, at the same time, really accurate and authentic. Several speakers were very moving and struck some chords close to me - one in particular who told the story of her brother and how he was moved by seeing a cardinal just two days before he died, and how this specific cardinal stayed around throughout his funeral and followed the sister as she was making arrangements, etc. The same was true with my grandmother, to whom I was very close, and while possibly a bit "out there," it really did remind me of someone I loved, and how looking out into the cold, gray, bleak yesterday I saw two cardinals in the now-stripped dogwood tree outside my office window.
Afterward I shared my story with her, and had a bit of a breakdown with a complete stranger. She gasped audibly once I finally sputtered it out because I think it may've given her some validation for taking a risk and speaking publicly about something many might perceive whimsical and trite.
Sometimes I struggle for purpose and affirmation, but I always trust a guiding force and higher power and while I used to question why I was put in places that didn't fulfill me - moreso from an anger perspective - I have come to look for the lessons I'm intended to learn, and the contributions I can make to improve a situation, not just from my perspective, but from the larger community scale.
I agreed to sit on the board for West Alabama AIDS Outreach a few weeks back, and last night's event really solidified the decision for me.