Friday, June 27, 2008

What Matters ...

Yesterday I attended a seminar at work that I really DID NOT WANT TO ATTEND. I can say this passionately because it was no big secret that I didn't want to go. In fact, I did nearly everything I knew to do other than just lying in the floor and screaming like I was 3 to get out of attending but Mama (one of my awesome bosses) was having none of it and waited me out.

I'm glad I went.

I knew our corporate trainer would put together a great program and she didn't disappoint at all. But it wasn't so much the exercises that affected me, it was the thought process. I've always struggled with conformity, mostly because I think the expectation of modeling specific behaviors and attributes JUST BECAUSE IT'S "BUSINESS" is absolutely ridiculous and completely unrealistic. I believe people do their best work when they're 100% themselves and able to really commit to their jobs. I know that I do.

That doesn't mean that I think one should come to work expecting to just hang out and play Wii, but I do think that minimizing the dual-personality expectation (why is it that we expect a person to be different at work than they are at home - really, think about this?) can free a person to achieve greater things that are closer to their heart.

It really does take a village.
We really do have our own unique personalities.
Stop trying to conform to something you're not, and find a way to model your signature strengths in a positive environment.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Signed, With A Home Tattoo, Happy Birthday To You Was Created For You ...

OK, so you should know that if I knew how to Photoshop better I would take care of my stomach - especially that God-awful shadow that's making me look 10 pounds heavier - but about the only thing I could figure out was how to flip an image horizontally. That's what you get for having v5.5 installed on your laptop. And, oh yeah, 1999 called and it said it wants it back.

I am just in from getting a new tattoo. I know, I know, who gets tattoos these days, right? But I am getting ready to celebrate my birthday, on the Mediterranean, with my best friends. And I wanted to do something to commemorate the trip and the opportunity to experience something so grand in my lifetime. Turning 37 is a blessing as well, and I always want to remember that on July 7, 1971, I was given a life for which I have only ever been thankful, grateful, and humbled to occupy.

I did quite a bit of research and designed my tattoo myself. The Roman month was broken into three sections: Kalendes, Nones, and Ides. From a website:

"In the calendar of the ancient Romans, the months contained three primary markers -- the Kalends, the Nones and the Ides. The Kalends were always the first day of the month. The Nones were usually the 5th but sometimes the 7th, and the Ides were the 15th but sometimes the 13th. All the days after the Ides were numbered by counting down towards the next month's Kalends. The holidays were generally bunched together to form continuous celebrations, and the remaining days of the month were usually nondescript workdays."

As I learned, the Nones of 31-day months began on the 7th. Named for Julius Caesar, the month we know as July was called Iliius. While my tattoo isn't the classic way of citing, I liked this variation. Had I been born on July 6 I would have to do this whole string of cacka with dots and AD's and shizz and I'm just going to tell you that while real estate probably wasn't the issue, pain would've been.

Yes, it did hurt. Not so bad until he started getting closer to the armpit and then I was all "Shit I hope that's an 'N.'" And he was like, "Nope, it's an 'O.'" I do have a little special place I go called Masochistic Tattoo Zone, in which I stare blankly at the wall and think crazy hedonistic thoughts like, "It's the tickle of a little dragon breathing down your body." Masochistic Tattoo Zone is, incidentally, very near Self-Hating Anorexia Zone but that's a story for another day.

I sucked it up and now, well, I'm happy.

Amazonia: Not So Much

Doh! We've been duped a lil'. MSJ, try not to worry about this, one day we WILL find Bigfoot. And when we do? Money, baby. Money!

And now I must share a little something not so primitive but definitely Old Skool. If you saw a drag show in 1991, you likely saw a performance of "I Don't Wanna Lose Ur Love" by B Angie B. In Mobile, the legendary Lana L'Amour would rock this sucker out and if you watch the original, you'll understand why she was inspired.

B Angie B was a protege of MC Hammer, in case that rings any bells for you. The point I'm trying to make is that this video is a hot tranny mess. And - another point I'm trying to make because today is Point Making Day - you can find any effing song you ever thought of on YouTube. It never ceases to amaze me.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Roboti-Blog Neglecto



I feel terribly. I am not being very responsible to my blog. It's been a crazy weekend for me as I'm preparing to get out of town on July 3 and will be heading to Europe for 11 days. It's the big Mediterranean trip and I had to spend the weekend getting my toiletries packed and my swimsuits selected. Hey, seriously, this is a really big deal for me. It's like the basis for my existence and now that it's done, the rest can just fall into place.

My friends and I are having a conference call Wednesday night to review itinerary's and "flow." It's crazy how much it takes to coordinate the gay.

This was a huge song in the late 80's/early 90's. It's actually called Robotiko Rejecto, but I often change the lyrics to adapt to relevant scenarios. I hope I'll be able to find a way to post a blog or two while I'm in Europe. I have purchased a brand new battery and an additional memory card for my camera. I'm seriously going to take the shit out of some pictures and video!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Take Me Down To The Paradise City ...

OK, so CU was awesome. I didn't get a chance to post yesterday morning because, in addition to needing to maximize my sleepy sleepy, I was awakened at 5:15 a.m. by a gusher, and not the good kind. My sinuses have been on revolt for about two weeks due to the crazy amount of heat - dry heat! - we're having here in Alabama. And thusly my nose began to bleed like whoa. I didn't have my wits about me or I'd have photographed it. Very Fight Club. Anyhoo, loved Carrie. She's so gorgeous, our seats were so good, she's AMAZING vocally, and just overall hott. But she completely surprised me in her encore when she rose out of the stage in this bitchin' silver jacket and did "Paradise City" by Guns-n-Roses. I was taken back to 1988 when MSJ and I went to see Motley Crue, with GNR opening as a new act, with these tools we knew from back in the day. I will never forget going 90 mph down Interstate 10 as passengers in the rear seat of a Hyundai Excel hanging onto each other staring and going, "OMG, I hope we live!" Granted, we were more concerned with our hair staying big because in 1988 not only did I have hair, but it was big hair. MSJ's took up the entire rear view mirror. If you get the chance to see Carrie on her "Carnival Ride" tour, I highly recommend it. I only wish now I'd bought the t-shirt.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Carnival Ride ...

I'm so excited.

Tonight I'm going to Birmingham to see Carrie Underwood on her Carnival Ride tour. I have been a Carrie fan since American Idol. It was one of the seasons I actually watched (I think I've watched 3) and she won me over with her version of Heart's "Never." And by "Never" I mean a song by Heart because, quite frankly, I don't remember what it actually was. I just remember she followed the formula for making a gay like you:

Barbie Doll on the outside + artistic expression x respectable cover song from heartfelt, amazing voice singer = instant endearment.

Plus, Carrie Underwood is from Oklahoma and I heart me some Okie. Especially my precious friends who live near Tulsa. Of course, I have no cowboy wear to don for tonight so it's looking like it will be good ol' Gap. We have floor tickets on the 18th row, and I'm hoping I can get a few pics to share.

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Me And My Cholesterol

Something that really cheeses me off is my cholesterol. I mean, look at me for God's sake. I'm a bloody bastion of health, right? Granted I've mistakenly picked up the child's size softball bat instead of the regular sized one I purchased here in this photo snapped during our associate picnic in April, but you would never look at me and think "Off the charts triglycerides, low HDL, of concern LDL," now would you?

And yet you should because, my friends, that's my reality. I've always struggled with cholesterol and I have a problem with being medicated, so have to return to diet diligence. Last year, in June, I had a very respectable total number of 126, with triglycerides normal, LDL normal, and HDL up from 17 to 40. I attribute this solely to following Dr. Fuhrman's "Eat To Live"program. While I continue to eat all healthy-like, I've probably been heavy on the complex carbs and REALLY light on the green leafy vegetables for quite some time.

Also, when I was screened last week I had not been fasting. I'd eaten two packages of cracked sunflower seeds and consumed a sugar free Red Bull because that's what I do in the mornings. I drink Red Bull. I told my doctor this and she thought it wouldn't make a huge difference. Well, my total number of 233 with triglycerides over 300 suggests otherwise. I have to take a proper fasting test this week.

And if you think I've not been eating like a vegetarian bird and doing a shitload of cardio, you're wrong. Robby Johnson does NOT like to lose and thusly he must beat the Cholesterol opponent.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Hot In The City

Running late so not much time to offer up the quality blog postings you've come to expect I force you to endure daily, but all I have to say is, "Lord have mercy it's hot!" Y'all stay cool and be aware of signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke. I saw the forecast predicted NYC to be 100 today. That's even hotter than here. Drink your water Papi!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Private Jet + Belmont Stakes x Fancy Hat = Audra!

OK, two things you should do.

1.) Read Amy Corndolly's blog. It's posted in my links. If you think I have not one but two Corndolly reunion t-shirts, you're right. Amy is great for a walk-off.

2.) Read Audra's new blog, which is also posted in my links. Audra is fabulous and a great dancer. And walk-off'er.

OMG, a pattern has emerged. All of my friends can walk. It's a total prerequisite.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Work It Out ...

All I know is this ... I have been getting my cardio on via the treadmill and if you think it's making absolutely. no. difference where weight loss is concerned, you're right. And I'm talking uno hora doing a high walk/run cardio program. Y'all, I even sweat. A lot. The good news is that my knees aren't killing me so I'm inspired to keep going. The bad news is that people keep having functions at work - leaving company, having a baby, getting married - and you know what that means ... white cake. Full of dulce and I cannot say no. I'm such a lab rat.

I really want to drop 10 pounds and it's hard. But for some reason, hard challenges me and I nearly always step up. So, we'll see what happens after a month.

It's a hot mutha here in West Alabama. I have hung a high-dolla fan for WF and he's being turned out at night. I hate it when the horses get hot.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Pina Ensalada

From time to time Robby likes to share a recipe with his 3 readers (love y'all!). In anticipation of the Med cruise, you should also know I'm in semi-starvation Skinny Bitch mode - what? what? - and thusly am trying to eat really healthy and exercise some a bunch.

So I made a pineapple fruit salad and here's how it do:

1 - pineapple, chopped into small dice
3 - fresh apricots, chopped into small dice
1 - nectarine, chopped into what? small dice, baby!
1/2 - fresh jalapeno pepper, chopped really fine
3 tbsp - extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp - kosher salt

Mix well and store in refrigerator. Eat over steamed brown or wild rice.

Drink a ton of water and starve, bitch, starve!

Monday, June 02, 2008

Junio Already?

So I cannot believe it's already June. Girl, you know what that means. July right around the corner and I will be 37! Yikes! I still feel 17 and God knows I still behave that way. Witnesseth: I had all of these goals to get organized and clean my apartment this weekend but Saturday a.m. rolled around and all I could do was muster the energy to go to breakfast with my pilates instructor, then decided to spend the rest of the day poolside with a friend. I have to say it was a great decision because it was way more fun than sorting through old stacks of paper.

Yesterday I spent some serious quality time with HRH West Farthing. I still have days when I just go, "I cannot believe you're my horse." Like yesterday: after we'd finished our ride and he'd been hosed off and was grazing to dry, I sat beneath the shade of a crepe myrtle while he munched on clover right at my feet. He was so soft and quiet and comfortable. It's really special when you make that bond with a horse. I am thinking of giving WF a nickname. I might call him Wiffle because that's the noise he makes when he sees me walking down the shedrow. He's far too stoic to whinny, but he starts making a deep guttural sound which is barely audible but moreso evident by his nostrils flaring.

My friend Dan came by the barn yesterday and I just happened to have my camera. I'd not ridden him in over a week, and he was a little bouncy when we first started, but he settled right in and actually did some really fantastic work yesterday. We're beginning to speak the same language and, while there was a moment during the first canter when I thought he was going to buck, I do believe we're starting to do some respectable work. I may get my friend Jane to take a little video tonight if she's going to be around.

So, here's to a fantastic June, people. Make it special!