Were you angered because I was eating a vegetarian chimichanga at Pepito's when you decided it would be a good idea for my crown to rip out again? Right in front of my friend who I'd not seen in eons? Then you tried to make me forget the crown on the table because I'd had 3 margaritas? Thanks karma, thanks alot.
I will admit I've done some pretty bad things in my life. Like convincing Kenneth Fowler - who didn't wear shoes to school because, let's face it, it was Alabama - to jump out of our second grade classroom window onto the playground, assuring him I'd not tell the teacher. And before his little bare feet even hit the dirt I was all, "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH, Ms. Morgan, Kenneth Fowler just jumped out of the window!"
But I am sorry for that. I did apologize for it years and years ago. Please let this be the final straw in your punishment. Please don't let this whole dental implant process be a lifelong thorn in my side. I will tell the oral surgeon this afternoon that you've got it in for me.
p.s. Please be kind and let me lose 10 pounds once I have the surgery. I will plan to eat only macrobiotic vegetarian miso soup.